Lygophobia
by emeraldterror
Summary: A dark form materialized behind him and a hand protectively wrapped around his waist. "Quiet," it hisses, "you know they won't understand." Ventus was afraid of the dark, but everyone just didn't understand. Vanitas/Ventus. Psychological Horror, Supernatural, Smut, Dark, Mental Illness. [currently being heavily revised]
1. Chapter 1

_A/n: Written with the help of MeeShee MuhFFin_

_Warning__**: **__dark themes, smut, nonconsensual/dubious consent, language, blood, psychological turmoil_

_Disclaimer__**: **__I do not own Kingdom Hearts; it belongs to Tetsuya Nomura, Square Enix, and Disney Interactive. _

_Edited: December 18__th__, 2010_

_Edited again: July 17th__, 2013 (only a few unnoticeable edits in terms of the story, however I removed my idiotic rambling in the author's notes)_

* * *

_Lygophobia_

_Chapter One_

* * *

Ventus was afraid of being alone, he was afraid of cramped spaces, he was afraid of his shadow, and he was afraid of the dark. Past friends would always poke fun at him for that, but he knew they didn't understand, which made him only more afraid.

No one understood…

The psychiatrists only asked him stupid questions, quizzed him on what may have sprung such a childish fear. They never accepted that his problem wasn't mental, but a physical being that would seep from the shadows themselves. The epitome of all evil, pain, misery and was his captor as well.

His parents weren't accepting of his mortification. His father would simply scoff at him and order him to stop being a cowardly child and stop trying for attention. Despite the blatant blow to his no longer existing pride, he would cling to them and plead for them not to leave him whenever they would plan to go out and would send him to his room, where the darkness awaited. Where _he _awaited his arrival.

Terra and Aqua, his only current friends, seemed to understand, but they could just be deceiving him to collect information on his 'disease' for the doctors… Terra never bothered to stay the night before, so he wouldn't know.

…He would _never _understand. He _couldn't._

Every night was the same. First, he would plead with his parents to not shut off the power to his room so he could leave the lights on, but his father would only hiss at him and tell him to cease his whining. Then, they would lock his door from the deadbolt they installed outside so he could not leave in the night, not needing to worry for he had a restroom in his room. Then, he would be forced to wait for the ceiling fan to slow to a stop to show that all power was cut to his room. After, he would wait, curled in a fetal position on his bed or wherever his legs buckled beneath him, wide awake, as he waited for complete darkness to envelope him lest he suffer from a perpetual nightmare. A never-ending torture. _He _had made sure to put that through Ventus' mind the first time…

His entire situation had all started just two years before, when Ventus had turned thirteen years old. The dark materialization had appeared behind him when he had bid his parents goodnight, catching him off guard as _it_ had wrapped both hands tightly around the boy's neck. _It _had whispered threatening words into the ear _its _breath was ghosting over, words that had instantly silenced him and murdered the scream that had built in his throat. He had shut his eyes and attempted to rid himself of the terrible nightmare, but his subconscious only displayed to him horrific images of death and misery.

_It _had introduced itself as a Shadow, a demon born from the darkness. Their purpose, _it_ had told him, was to bring as much pain and misery to one individual as possible until death of either creature. Strange, it seemed, how the Shadow used different methods than the traditional ways of its brethren. …How they seemed more effective than those of his brethren.

Tonight was like every other night with the inevitable fast approaching him.

"Please Mom, you don't understand!" Ventus pounded on the door, but his mother did not listen to him. On the other side of the door she choked back tears, not understanding what was wrong with her son. Meanwhile his father only rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore him as he pulled away his wife.

"What did I do to deserve a son like this?" he could hear his father complain. Eventually, Ventus heard their retreating voices die away over his cries for exiting the room and his voice died in his throat.

_Another night…_

He leaned against his door, finding no use to try and fight his father's wishes. The fan on the ceiling of his room decelerated until it came to a full stop, his only light source already snapped off into oblivion, and he thickly swallowed the lump in his throat. The moonlight shining into his room from his opened curtains faded away, but he wasn't surprised by it… That was "normal."

In the corner of his room, where his bed was pushed against the wall, a pair of yellow circles appeared in midair, blinking a few times before scanning the room. Following the eyes, jagged bangs the shade of night itself fell over the golden orbs, and slowly materialized a face. A face, to Ventus, that was to be feared.

Immediately Ventus whimpered helplessly. He covered his face with his hands and lowered his head as he curled into a fetal position against the door. "Not tonight," he pleaded desperately. "Just… No… Please not today…" He inhaled shakily, hands beginning to tremble as the glowing eyes across the room crinkled mockingly. His fingers fisted themselves in the blond spikes atop his head, tugging nervously.

Across the room, the dark figure cackled maliciously, "I don't think begging will help you. You know it never does, idiot."

A chill ran up Ventus' spine and he peaked through his fingers, taking note that the dark figure had fully materialized. _Its_ black, bat-like wings were folded carefully against the demon's back, twitching every now and then when they desired to expand. "But… It's my birthday… I don't…" The figure glided gracefully over to the trembling blond, fisting _its_ hand in his hair to jerk his head up. Ventus stared into the gold eyes in fear.

"We've had this same argument for two straight years, I'm sure you know how this will end." The smirk that was on the dark figure's face was terrifying.

_It_ leaned forward, capturing the blond's lips in a harsh, bruising kiss. Ventus attempted to pull away, but the grip of the hand in his hair only grew tighter. He cried out as he was lifted to his feet, only to be pushed harshly against the door. The Shadow did not hesitate to make haste in breaking away to press _its_ lips to the blond's throat, teeth nipping harshly on the tender skin and pulsing veins that reflected the racing, terrifying beating of his heart. A choked out groan escaped his parted and bleeding lips, as he did not attempt to hold it in. His parents wouldn't hear, the Shadow tormented him by placing a silencing charm on his room during every encounter.

"Vanitas," he pleaded, vainly attempting to trap his head by jerking his shoulder violently. However, the Shadow merely bit down on the boy's jugular with his fangs, drawing blood. Ventus cried out once more, pain searing through his throat.

The Shadow, Vanitas, pulled away, the blond's blood staining his lips as he flicked his tongue over them to clean it away. The venom in the Shadow's saliva was healing the wound, but burned at the injury horribly. It seemed to be one of the many attributes added to a normal Shadow's weapons of torture.

He hated the Shadow with every fiber of his being. Vanitas was pure evil, but it _was _to be expected of his species of demon. They were for evil, and that's what they did. They all had alike features, such as dark hair and light blue eyes that gradually turned gold as they matured (supposed 'facts' that the internet had taught him). They had ranging skills of torture, from their sharp claws that scarred skin easily to their ability to haunt the dreams of even the strongest minds.

Vanitas lightly trailed his hands down the sides of the blond he had pinned against his bedroom door, fingers tugging up at the hem of the boy's shirt before pulling up the cloth altogether. Ventus squirmed in the Shadow's harsh grip, but his clawed fingers only dug into the boy's skin to hold him in place. When Vanitas had pulled off the blond's shirt, he leaned back to marvel at the boy's chest.

Scars adorned the boy's torso from years of daily torture, making the sight a horrible one. Scars layered upon other scars, jagged and possessive, but miraculously, none of them were raised. Vanitas never worried, if he ever cared at all in the first place, that someone would see them. He knew that Ventus was never intimate with anyone, as the Shadow was convinced that he was his property. Only his, as his name was scratched beautifully into the littered flesh of his back suggested.

Ventus' face contorted into one of anger and he pushed the Shadow away. Vanitas' eyes trailed back up to meet the teen's and a smug grin broke out in his face. The demon grabbed the blond's shoulders and pain immediately flared under his grip. Faintly, Ventus could feel himself being pushed onto a bed, but the pain was too great. A scream ripped through his throat and he shut his eyes tightly. Slowly the pain subsided, but it was replaced by the familiar burning as it healed.

Vanitas harshly pressed his lips to the lips of the blond beneath him, ignoring the last ounce of fight that Ventus gave him before giving in with a brokenhearted whine of despair. He found that fighting the demon was pointless, no matter how many times he pleaded with him or pushed him away, Vanitas would always overpower him.

Feeling a clawed hand rake over his stomach—lightly, teasingly—the muscles of his abdomen twitched beneath the touch. His back arched up against his will, no matter how much he suppressed it. A frustrated growl bubbled in the back of his throat, which was directed towards himself for reacting in such a way, but he swallowed it down.

The hand was now resting against the button if his pants, claws digging into the fibers of the denim surrounding it, puncturing the stitching and creating multiple holes. Ventus pulled away from the bruising kiss for oxygen, gasping when the lips that used to be pressed against his own touched against the crook of his shoulder.

"My pants…" he moaned, feeling the fabric being ripped away by the demon above him and the traitorous bulge hidden beneath the thin fabric of his boxers twitch to life. "Vanitas," he whispered, cringing when the demon's fingers slid slowly along his body's noticeable enthusiasm.  
"Yes?" the demon cooed mockingly, nipping at the healed wound on the boy's neck. His teeth caught under two layers of skin before the metallic taste of blood beaded onto his tongue. His teeth sank further, harsher this time, jerking his head left to right and tearing the soft flesh. The screams of terror and pain spilled immediately out of Ventus' lungs, his breath hitching once more. He could already feel his throat go raw from his own screams… and it pained him to think that this was only the beginning…  
"Come on, Ventus, you know how this always ends," the Shadow hummed as he lapped idly on the boy's neck, erupting flames that brought relief to the blond, and propped himself up on his elbows to look at the human's face. It was twisted in pain and tracked with tears, eyes mixed in a venomous concoction of hate and disgust.

The demon was unfazed; he saw this every night and it only fueled his want to injure the boy further. The almost comforting feeling of Ventus' lively organ being rubbed was soon gone; instead the demon's claws were raking down his scarred torso. Angry trails of blood woke in their path, slowly creeping down his stomach to rest at the curve of his hips. Vanitas reminded himself that he would have to take care of that later.

"Vanitas! Stop it, stop it!" he cried, trying to thrash around and free himself from the grip of the Shadow. His mouth hung open, eyes shut tight. No other sound emerged from his lips but his heavy breathing.

"Are you sure?" the raven purred, his tone mixed with amusement and his own evil pleasure. "I _am_ just getting to the good part. I will just hurt you until you can't scream anymore. Remember that game? It is really fun… Or at least," he fluttered his eyelashes at the blond beneath him and ran a tongue over his fangs, "it is for _me._"He heard a disgruntled whimper, the boy's neck craning up and to the left, the new flesh wound freshly healed, leaving a pale, scar that resembled a warped crescent moon.

"Stop it…" he tried once more, closing his tired cerulean eyes in an attempt to block out the pain that would come.

Vanitas merely clicked his tongue in response, choosing not to respond to the boy as he unbuckled the belt he wore and unbuttoned his pants. At the sound of the demon's zipper, Ventus warily opened his eyes. Catching the demon's golden gaze, he glared with all his might.  
"I hate you," he breathed, glaring with abhorrence at the demon above him who still had _his _blood on his lips. Deep down inside, though, Ventus could not comprehend the feeling of doubt that followed what he had hissed. He may have hated the demon, but he was the closest person he had, if whatever twisted relationship they had counted. The demon was the only person that knew the most about him, all his secrets. Although the Shadow didn't care, he still bothered asking to, at the least, become somewhat acquainted with the victim he was stuck with for Ventus' life.

"I know you do," he replied, nonchalantly examining his claws as their lengths receded back into his fingers. The fangs that were prominently poking out between his lips shrunk into his gums and the small wings on his back fused into his body. "But," his indifferent countenance faltered and churned back into a sinister sneer, "I _am _only human… or at least until midnight." Glancing to the clock, he frowned at what little time he had for the night.

He nestled himself roughly between the blond's parted legs and groaned when his newly acquired length brushed against Ventus'. A gasp escaped the teen's parted lips when the raven haired _human _buried his face in his neck and thrust against his boxers in a desperate attempt for friction.

No matter how much Ventus hated the demon, he didn't mind Vanitas' human form much. No matter how rough he got, he never damaged the blond _too _greatly, that which he was grateful for, and he seemed to enjoy closeness more and not just inflicting rough and spiteful injuries. No matter if the demon was there for his own game, Ventus couldn't help all the doubt he had deep inside him; all the conflicting emotions towards him.

Vanitas trailed his hand down the boy's abdomen and hooked his fingers in the hem of the boy's boxers and sharply pulled down, causing the blond's hips to jerk up to meet the harsh bucking of the raven. A moan escaped his lips as he tilted his head back and exposed the tender skin of his neck, which was subject to the raven's newfound aroused interest.

Vanitas discarded the article of clothing and pulled his own pants down, teeth nipping at the blond's collarbone as he positioned himself before Ventus' unprepared entrance. He pushed himself in, wanting to, at the least, hurt the blond but not injure him greatly. He didn't want him bleeding _too _much on the bed.

Ventus cried out, hands immediately grasping whatever they could. His fingers laced through the thick hair as dark as the night he feared so much, and his other hand fisted in the fabric of the boy's dark shirt that he still hadn't removed. He tugged at it, a fresh, pained scream reverberating through the silent room as the raven pulled out completely and harshly thrust back in, satisfied with the choked squeak that caught in the blond's throat.

"V… Vanitas…" he whimpered, the hand that was fisted in the black fabric of his shirt twitching a bit from the stinging pain in his nether regions before trailing down his back. He tugged at his shirt harshly, back arching as the demon easily found the familiar bundle of nerves deep inside Ventus. "Ahh…" All words lost him as the Shadow began a pace he was familiar with, pathetic whines escalating into moans.

Ventus harshly yanked on the grip he had in the demon's dark hair, jerking his head so they were both connected at the mouths once again. A spark seemed to flit between the both of them and Vanitas pried open the blond's mouth, delving deep into his mouth while the other complied by nudging the demon's tongue with his own. Moaning into the raven's mouth, he met the demon's ministrations with the rocking of his own hips, meeting each thrust with his own. Each lifting of his hips pushed the other deeper, assisting him in the hitting the familiar spot that they both needed for a pleasurable release, despite his hatred for it.

He would never mention to the raven how much he enjoyed the sex. No matter if the demon probably knew.

Ventus broke the kiss, pushing the demon away and into a kneeling position. Vanitas slowed his pace, staring down at the blond strangely. Propping himself onto his elbows he sharply pulled away the scratchy material of the Shadow's shirt and discarded it quickly. Leaning up further, he met the raven halfway in a harsh kiss, hand slipping behind his neck to pull him down on top of him as he collapsed back onto his bed with a bounce.

The touch of skin against his elicited a gasp from the blond, which only intensified into a moan that caught into his throat as Vanitas thrust deep into him once again and assaulted his prostate. His back arched off the bed and into the heated skin of the demon above him, a hand fisting once again in the dark, thick hair. The unfamiliar feeling deep within his mind bubbled positively; in response he only shook his head slightly.

Another thrust, another moan that caused disgust to well deep in his senses. However, the hazy veil of lust only ignored the feeling, choosing to make the blond jerk upward sharply in time when Vanitas pulled out, only thrust back downward to meet the jabs with a fresh supply of groans.

What a disappointment… He could never understand how his situation had turned so… partial in regards to his participation…

Ventus cracked an eye open, catching the golden gaze of the demon above him that was clouded with lust, however, it cleared away lethargically. He lifted both eyelids and locked his gaze with Vanitas. For a moment, it seemed, he forgot all mortal fears and stared at him. The Shadow slowed, mesmerized by the cerulean eyes, how wide they were, how the recurring moonlight seemed to make them glow.

"Vanitas…" The demon broke the lock of their stares to glance at the clock, which read two minutes before midnight. The grimace on the human's face worried him a little, until he looked at the clock as well. Another minute before he turned back into a Shadow again. That meant bad things, for Ventus of course.

The small, barely noticeable connection they had was gone. Yet, when it had been present, he was sure there was an almost softness in his piercing gold eyes. He was caught off guard when the demon said the last few words for that night.

"I'm leaving for a few days, Ven," he looked back down at the moon-washed boy whose glare had returned. "Don't miss me too much," his pace had slowed to a complete stop. With a shudder he pulled out, leaving the blond panting and convulsing in a need for release.

The demon rolled off the side of the bed skillfully, rising to his full height at the end. He grabbed his pair of black jeans that were collected at the foot of the bed with the blond's clothing and slipped them on hastily, threading the leather belt he had found not too far from them through the loops. He searched around and quickly pulled on his shirt as well, which had been thrown across the boy's room. Ventus heard a loud, sickening crack come from the demon's back as his bat-like wings molded into the air and snapped like twigs when the bones popped comfortably back into place. Through the Shadow's parted lips poked out two glistening fangs once again and he ran his tongue over them in satisfaction. His finger nails grew immediately, returning to their original length.

"I'll try my hardest," the blond commented sarcastically, eyeing the demon as he sharply pulled the sheet that was beneath him over his nude body. The Shadow stared down at him in mild amusement before fading away. Just like he had appeared, a glistening pair of golden eyes stared down at Ventus in midair. They blinked a few times before disappearing completely with a flash.

Sighing dejectedly as, like every time, the weight of his entire situation hit him, he threw the covers off him and slightly limped over to the bathroom door. He had only a few hours before the silencing spell fully wore off due to a the spell's unchangeable time limit, so he figured it would be a good idea to wash away the sweat and disgust off of him.

Pulling open the shower curtain, he firmly grabbed the faucet and turned the handle only slightly, jolting when he stuck his hand under the water. It was freezing cold, but he didn't mind. He stepped in, immediately shivering when the water cascaded down onto his vulnerable body.

Frowning, he curled against the wall under the water, bringing his legs tightly against his chest. Hate was the prominent feeling, but as he grasped his throbbing length in a desperate attempt to relieve himself, those feelings melted away. All that was left was the familiar contradicting sentiment congealing deep within him as his breath quickened once more.

How was it that it had come to this? What had he done to deserve this? As much as he reluctantly enjoyed the pleasure, he hated the pain that always seemed attached as a packaged deal. Hell, because of the demon, he hardly had any friends. His fear was well-known in school and he was constantly teased. His friends were always uncomfortable around him, and he couldn't sleep comfortably at night. Because of the demon, he was afraid of the dark. Because of the demon, he walked with an annoying limp every day. Because of the demon, he was afraid to grow close to anyone anymore. A lot of things were the Shadow's fault. He hated him…

However…

If anything, he hated himself. He hated the way he _didn't _hate the lingering touches. He hated how he didn't hate the kisses or the bruises he was left with. He hated how he didn't hate the scratches that adorned his body, no matter how harshly they marred his once clear skin. Most of all, he hated how he no longer hated the demon… not in the slightest.

…Not at all.

* * *

_A/n: Wow that sex scene is incredibly embarrassing to read over, wow. I was an awkward little twelve year old, wasn't I?_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/n: Written with the help from MeeShee MuhFFin._

_Warning: A bit out of character regarding Lea, Isa, Riku, Ienzo, etc… beginning of Lea/Ventus_

_Edited: December 18__th__, 2010_

_Edited again: July 17t__h__, 2010_

* * *

_Lygophobia_

_Chapter Two_

* * *

Darkness enveloped him, swirling around him, imitating a nonexistent breeze. The normal, deafening silence was overpowered by voices. Voices of millions. Disinterestedly, Vanitas scanned the large expanse, searching for any familiar faces as he flew over the large crowd of demons.

It was pathetic, this meeting. The Leaders knew better than to organize such a convention for the demons. To monitor the progress of their kills? It was a foolish idea. Shadows were independent creatures, and just the thought of grouping every being of their species was an irrational one, let alone every demon and spiritual being in existence.

It must be some sort of pseudo census.

Eyes locking on a rather tall creature, he quickly spun midair to avoid it. Was that a Devastator? He hadn't seen one in such a long time… They were the type of demons could create things that could be blamed as natural disasters. With their large build, inhuman strength and the ability to use basic magic, they were skilled enough to raise tsunamis. He faintly recognized the rust-red headed Devastator, but didn't bother greeting him.

Spotting the familiar face he had been searching for, Vanitas descended in the crowd, folding his wings hastily to avoiding hitting another demon. …The Berserkers were frightening enough to even scare him… And the blue haired Berserker behind him looked pissed off enough.

"Hey, Vanitas. It's been a while," the demon before him greeted, a grin spread across his lips. His green eyes crinkled in delight and he waved slightly.

"Why yes, Axel, it has," Vanitas smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. Axel was an Assassin, a demon born from hellfire itself, their mark worn proudly as the gaudy red hair indicated. Their skill with fire was useful for making their kills much more unsuspecting when it came to reaping the lives of humans, something as simple as a house fire or a car accident with a cracked gas tank.

"I see you haven't graduated into a Neoshadow yet by the size of your wings," Axel grinned, poking at the bat-like wings curled against Vanitas' back. Self-consciously he flexed them, dismissing the comment as he reminded himself that having wings two feet long when expanded was still a good thing.

"I'm still having fun with my human, I don't want to kill him just yet for my wings," Vanitas merely countered, ignoring the small frown Axel gave him. It was true, for a Shadow to graduate into a Neoshadow, or in other words, fully mature, they were required to bring a human into the Demon Realm and simply kill them. To rip their hearts out and devour them… His throat tightened at the thought.

Suddenly, Axel's joking behavior fell and was replaced by a grave countenance. "You know, you don't have to hurt your human like that. Be the first to stray from the laws of the Shadows, you don't know what might come from it. Hell, you may never become a Neoshadow, but you'll at least have a friend. Got it memorized?"

Averting his gaze almost shamefully at the demon's spurt of wisdom, Vanitas blinked at the squat demons creeping along the rough floor. However, his eyes flashed and his normal evil nature returned tenfold. "I will not disappoint the Leaders, namely the Elders, and besides," he maliciously flashed his fangs, "I love his screams, I love the taste of his blood, and most of all, I love his moans."

Axel only seemed mildly horrified, but he quickly recovered. He was supposed to be used to that kind of behavior, damn it! "I'm nice to _my _human, and she loves me!"

Vanitas merely clicked his tongue and shook his head. "You're supposed to _kill her, _you know. Befriending her would only make it purpose is _torture. _And you know what? I'm pretty sure my human loves me too…" his voice trailed off in a thoughtful tone. Did he? Most likely not, and Vanitas knew he deserved it.

"Hello, boys, long time no see," a voice snickered behind Vanitas, but he didn't waste time in turning to see who it was. Placing a hand on the Shadow's shoulder, the tall blonde woman rested her chin atop his head, snickering once again at their height difference.

"Hi," Axel merely waved, still slightly disturbed by Vanitas' comment.

"Oh, Axel," the woman tutted, shaking her head, which, in turn, shook the raven's as well. "Have some more heart, you get the pleasure of seeing me, don't you?"

"Hello, Larxene," Vanitas droned, feeling the woman cackle once again as she played with his wings.

She cooed as she flapped them continuously. Annoyed, Vanitas sharply expanded them and smacked her hands before tucking them once again against his back. Larxene only chuckled, and with a choked giggle, she laughed, "No need to be violent, I was just basking in the glorious lack of overcompensation like Xigbar."

Axel snorted in an attempt to withhold his laughter. Vanitas shot him a glare.

"Besides," she continued, "I think he's the only Neoshadow around, really. We all know he achieved that within the first week. All the newborns are a bit annoying as well. I'm a Harpy, I don't understand why _I'm _stuck training that brainless girl," Larxene complained.

Larxene was a Harpy demon, but they differed greatly from their counterparts of the Greek Mythology. Her species of demon preyed on the weak, humans or demons, as they were allowed frequent trips to the Human World. They could cast strong magic, and each demon had an element they were particularly strong in. Larxene was actually highly skilled in electricity-based magic, and she prided herself in it. Their speed was quicker than the Dancer demons, and they were also very athletic. In all honesty, they were a force to be reckoned with.

"Speaking of newborns," Axel began, scanning the crowd of demons around them. "Where _is_ Xion?"

Larxene winced and Vanitas immediately knew that the newborn she was complaining about was Xion. She sighed and folded her hands on the Shadow's head. "She's with Roxas again. I'm glad he's taken her off my hands. She's been bothering me for the last few weeks straight." Vanitas vaguely wondered if this "Roxas" was a newborn as well.

"They didn't invite me? I thought I was their friend!" Axel whined, taken aback by the rude behavior of his friends. However, when the group of demons parted before them, two figures emerged. Larxene groaned and Axel crossed his arms over his chest. When Vanitas lifted his eyes to the person beside the Shadow girl, he flinched.

"Vanitas, what the hell's up with you?" Larxene asked, tapping the raven lightly on his cheek with three fingers. However, he merely gaped at the blond. When the blond caught his gaze, he stared at him as well.

"You look exactly like my human!" Vanitas breathed, staring at the bewildered blond boy. Larxene blinked and stood erect, lifting herself away from leaning on the raven.

"I could say the same myself," the blond muttered, which called a look of concern from Xion. Extensive stares filled the eerie silence.

"Creepy," Axel sang, breaking the tension between the two. Xion coughed to hide her laugh.

From the looks of the blond hair and blue eyes, Vanitas could only deduce that the blond (Roxas, he guessed) was a Radiant, magical beings who protected humans from evil forces and such. However, Radiants were of light, and could only cast healing spells and use white magic. Being in the presence of such a holy being was unsettling to the Shadow, and it confused him how the hell Xion could manage to stay within a five foot radius of him. However, when a deafening bell resounded through the darkness, everyone fell silent.

Larxene grinned and cackled quietly, "The meeting has begun."

* * *

Ventus awoke to the sound of a door being unlocked harshly and without any attempt at subtlety. His eyes shot open, being the light sleeper he was, and stared at his father.

"Wake up and get ready for school," he commanded, the same look of indifference plastered on his face like every morning. His father shut his door and ended whatever interaction they would most likely have for the rest of the day.

Running a hand through his mussed hair, Ventus arose from the bundle of blankets he was entangled in, wincing only slightly from the pain that shot through his back. He had a terrible headache, and he only wanted to stay in bed and sleep a little more soundly after what felt like years of only brief rests.

Faintly he could still feel a body against his, warmth against his neck, a distant pain that would eventually burn away into oblivion… But he knew that those things were going to be absent from his life for a few days, and, no matter how deep inside he doubted it, he was genuinely happy for the first time in years.

Ventus rolled over, swinging his legs over the side and planting his feet firmly on the ground. His upper body followed as well as he pushed himself into a standing position and he stretched. Various bones cracked and he groaned at the noises. He stooped and grabbed the denim pant leg that was strewn lazily around the front of his bed, but growled when he noticed that it was torn in various places that weren't very tasteful. He righted himself and dragged his feet as he moved to his closet. He made a note to sew that pair before his mother saw the gashes in the fabric.

Quickly, he dressed and stumbled out of his bedroom, running down the staircase and into the kitchen where his parents were eating breakfast. It was extremely early, but the sun was already peaking through the curtained windows to his left as he took a seat across from his father.

A chill ran up his spine as he felt the glare of his father through the thin paper of his daily reading material. It gave him and uneasy feeling how much his father disliked him, nearly _hated _him, all for something that was beyond his control. Setting down his newspaper, his father sipped at his coffee and stood, kissing his wife's temple before bidding her a good day and promising her she would be back before dinner. As soon as he left, an uncomfortable silence befell the both of them. Shifting uncomfortably, Ventus began, "Mom, I-"

"Good morning, dear," his mother cut through, a forced smile on her lips. Every day was like this. A forced greeting, a forced smile, everything was just _fake. _She didn't know what was happening in her only child's room every night. She was blissfully unaware of the pain and fear he was plagued with _every_ day.

Vaguely he contemplated whether he should finally show her the scars that adorned his body to prove to her that he wasn't crazy… He wasn't insane… Deep inside, guilt smothered his acute anger towards the woman and he brushed off her forceful attitude and glanced towards the clock that was hanging on the kitchen wall. It wouldn't hurt to skip breakfast and show up at school early…

He pushed away from the table, ignoring the sigh of relief that escaped his mother's trembling lips. Walking out of the front door with his checkered backpack slung over one shoulder, he ignored the dull sting that each step brought him. Hastily he crossed a few intersections, glad that his high school wasn't too far away.

The morning was silent. It always was. Crossing through the town, he was greeted by the normal stares of the early-risers. He was sure they weren't even aware of his name, and yet they judged him. Mocked him.

All for his fear.

His eyes brightened at the sight of his school, no matter how much he hated it, he was still fond of the sanctuary. The only place he had friends. The place away from a home that didn't want him.

He sighed in relief, entering the school grounds and running up the steps to the entrance. He hoped that either Terra or Aqua was early as well, because he didn't want to sit alone for half an hour waiting for school to start. However, fate seemed to hate him that morning because he found himself leaning against his locker. Alone. And of course, when he was alone, his consciousness always turned to Vanitas and his mind would send feral waves of terror throughout his veins.

Ventus feared being alone because the silence was deafening and left him to the mercy of his thoughts. And, like every other time, they were as unmerciful as always.

Pain, _searing pain_, from his memories flooded his senses and he shut his eyes tightly. He needed it to stop. He finally received a break from the demon, and yet his mind wouldn't let him go. What more did Vanitas want? He already owned his body, his mind… What else could he possibly need?

His emotions…? Deep down he knew that they had probably been a part of the packaged deal long ago.

* * *

Bringing his head back from around the corner, a teenager smirked at the group of boys huddled around him. Whispering, so the subject could not hear him in the silent hallway, "Hey, it's that loner kid." He nudged the red head standing beside him. A sadistic grin spread across his features as the red head turned to him.

"What do you want, Riku?" the red head growled, only half awake due to waking early and showing up to school early as well.

"I bet you fifty bucks that you can't get into his pants," he leaned towards the red head, the statement rousing him to full alertness.

The boys around him laughed, some whistling while a blond whispered, "C'mon, Lea, or are you too much of a pussy to go through with it?"

Lea merely smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked over Riku with regarding eyes. "You better go to the nearest bank, Riku, 'cause you're out of fifty bucks!"

Riku grinned in return, offering the red head a fist to bump. "I bet he'll fall hard, too. How easy do you think he'll be?"

"I bet a week," a boy grinned, pulling a pen and notepad out of his backpack. "Let's start a pool for it."

A boy with steely gray hair shook his head slightly. "I'd rather not partake in this, but I would bet that you'll have him in the supplies closet before lunch," he muttered, watching intently as the boy scribbled down the information in a messy flourish.

"Ienzo, you're so cruel," Riku smirked.

A raven haired boy, whose smile was ever-present on his lips, chuckled lightly, "Give him a break. At least give the poor guy a month or something. It's not like he's desperate to lose his virginity or anything."

The boy with the pad and pen allowed his eyelids to fall slightly in annoyance. "He's a loser, Zack, why do you care?"

"He's my cousin's friend," Zack countered, holding his hands up in surrender.

A few other boys gave their prediction, although they chose to be a bit more generous in regards to Ienzo's bet. The boy with the paper struggled to keep up, but finally collected all the data with minimal pleas of repetition.

"So, Lea," Ienzo inquired, never batting an eyelash at the red head's malicious grin. "How long are you giving yourself?"

"I'll give him a few days, and then I'll be expecting my money from all of you and our secret to be kept from my girlfriend."

Riku waved a hand at him dismissively. "Don't worry like an idiot. If you're not getting any from Naminè, you might as well find it somewhere else."

Lea merely grinned and pushed himself away from the wall to begin the timer of his bet. He strolled through the hallway, careful not to make his sneakers squeak on the linoleum floor to startle the blond too greatly. Ventus had long-since stood and was currently leaning against the locker with his eyes shut tightly. Once he reached the blond, he tapped his knuckles against the metal, which only caused Ventus' eyes to fly open.

Ventus turned his head to give attention to whoever was bothering him, but when red flashed before him, he quickly whipped his head in the opposite direction before embarrassment and confusion could settle in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey, Ventus," Lea breathed, leaning against the locker beside the blond, ignoring his obvious defiance. He reached forward, his right hand touching the blond's left shoulder before trailing down to grip the side of the boy's backpack to ensure that he couldn't escape.

It was all wrong, Ventus couldn't help but think as his skin replayed the touch on its surface.

"I was wondering," he muttered coolly, hand playing with the rough fabric of the backpack, fingers playing with the checkers, "if you would like to hang out some-"

"Leave me alone, Lea," he interrupted sharply, his cerulean eyes hardening coldly as his gaze lingered to the shocked stare that belonged to the red head. He jerked his shoulder upward to loosen and eliminate the grip the red head had on his bag.

Lea's eyes narrowed, a snarl forming on his lips. He wasn't going to lose fifty dollars on a loser like Ventus! However, when people began filing through the entrance, he backed away. He didn't need Naminè finding out anytime soon. He glared at the blond's back as he weaved through the crowd towards a brunet senior that was waiting by the door.

* * *

"Welcome demons and spirits, alike," the hooded Leader from the center of the craggily thrones called, voice booming and echoing off the dark cliff walls around them. The Leaders were the elites of each specie of either demon or spirits, they controlled the decisions that effected the Demon Realm. Metaphorically, they were each specie's representative. The speaker was a Neoshadow, as his glowing yellow eyes were shining through the darkness his hood cast over his face and large wings folded neatly at his back. He was an Elder, a part of the original demons of the Demon Realm. He slowly pulled the dark hood covering his head back, revealing silver hair and dark skin that showed his ancient age.

The Leaders to his right and left nodded in turn, urging him to continue.

"We have called this meeting to report the progress that we have made through the last century, and to conduct a census of the number of Newborns that have accumulated over the years." A hum of approval from the demons and spirit Leaders erupted. "We need the graduated Neoshadows to step forward."

The crowd parted and only a few demons stepped forward. One being Xigbar, whose right golden eye was hidden beneath an eye patch. A deep scar was running down his cheek as well. It was a rumor that his human had given a fight when he had been brought to the Demon Realm years ago. Thin lines of silver ran down various sections of his hair, representing his great age.

Xigbar was a no-nonsense type of demon. He had only been a Shadow for a decade, barely passed being in the stages of being a Newborn and deemed knowledgeable enough to be assigned a human. In only a week had he made quick work of his victim.

Beside the silver-haired Elder a Sorcerer underling demon was taking notes diligently. When finished, it tuck its hands into his sleeves, awaiting a new announcement. However, Xigbar seemed to put the next announcement on hold.

"Howdy, Xemnas," he saluted, grinning lopsidedly as the Elder merely rolled his eyes at him. To show some sort of greeting to his old friend he wiggled his fingers in a wave.

"As I was _saying,_" Xemnas continued, glaring slightly at Xigbar as he retreated back into the crowd, "now I need all the Shadows to step forward."

Larxene snickered and pushed Vanitas forward, coaxing him to step into the opening. He only shook his head, moving to where the crowd opened for him. Looking around, he noticed that there were many Shadows around him. However, when he glanced back to Xemnas, he flinched at the glare he received.

"Vanitas," Xemnas commanded, eyes narrowing significantly. "How long has it been since you were assigned a human?"

Whispers swept through the demons behind him. To minimize being scolded for thinking it through, 'two years' fell easily from his lips.

Xemnas continued, "And when are you planning to graduate?"

A sinking feeling welled deep within Vanitas and his eyes grew wide. So soon? It hardly seemed fair to ask such a thing to him after only two years, however, Xemnas seemed upset with the number of Neoshadows. After all, Vanitas _was _the oldest Shadow out of all them. He was a century ahead of everyone, with the exception of his years spent as a Newborn.

What was he _supposed _to say? He didn't _want _to kill Ventus just yet… It was a frightening thought, and he just couldn't grasp _why_. However, to sustain his usual, nonchalant behavior, he forced a smirk to cross his lips.

"When I get _bored…_"

* * *

The usual self-conscious feeling enveloped Ventus as he slowly turned the dial of the lock to his locker. He opened it, staring down at the gym clothes that were sitting at the bottom. Faintly he could feel the uncomfortable feeling of a glare on his back and he felt that he didn't need to turn to know who it was.

He shared a class with Lea, and from the glares he received from the red head were obvious. It wasn't very hard to wonder who was glaring at him so violently.

Pulling out his gym shirt from the bottom the locker, he slipped his shirt off. Ventus could feel the glare intensify for some odd reason. He hoped no one could see any stray scars that weren't hidden by his wife beater. When the scars began building upon each other when he was thirteen, he was forced to begin wearing things that would cover his torso. To him, the teasing for not wanting to show his chest went right over his head as he reinforced his ears to ignore them.

No one had seen the scars before. Not his parents, and not his therapist. She had promised that whatever was said would remain strictly confidential, but he couldn't show her. Sharing his secret made him feel… _tainted. _The scars were a constant reminder of his fears.

He unbuttoned his pants, allowing them to fall to the floor as he bent slightly at his waist to reach into the locker that began at mid-chest. He grabbed his gym clothing, replacing them frantically with the clothes he had on previously. As he pulled on the uniform, he still felt the glare on him, and to be honest…

It was unsettling…

The glares followed him throughout the day, and when he entered the cafeteria, it met him there as well. He walked over to his lunch table, but his ears perked as he heard a conversation to his immediate left.

"I miss Roxas…" the voice whispered in a heartbroken tone and Ventus felt a deep pity at the raw sound of emotions it had to it.

"Sora's talking about his imaginary friend again, Riku," a female voice whispered to the silver haired teen sitting beside her.

"We need to get him help," Riku replied in the same hushed tone. "It's not healthy… He's always talking about him… I'm worried." Anger welled deep within Ventus and he mentally hissed at them for being so terrible to their friend. He picked up his pace once again, rushing over to his table where he noticed that Aqua was sitting at.

"Ventus!" she greeted, raising her hand in a startled wave. He nodded to her as he took a seat beside her.

He didn't want lunch today (although he rarely ate) in particular; the uneasy feeling had taken away his appetite. He had a feeling that something eventful was going to happen to him soon. He glanced over to the senior beside him, two years ahead of him, and, for the first time in two and a half years, smiled at her when he caught her eyes.

Her eyes grew wide. She hadn't seen him truly smile in a while. Was he finally cured? Was he alright?

"Ven?" Aqua asked, using the blond's nickname he liked.

He didn't know why, but when the glare left him just moments ago, he had the strongest urge to smile. At who, he hadn't the slightest idea. However, the urge wouldn't leave, so he figured that everyone should receive one. However, Aqua continued staring at him, blinking a few times before smiling back, lips curling at their corners and eyes closing ever-so-slightly.

"Hey, Ventus," a voice purred behind him.

Whatever smile was on his face fell harshly, replaced by a deep-set frown. He rounded immediately, coming face-to-face with the red head he was avoiding.

"Wanna hang out some time?" his grin was definitely convincing, but the glee did not seem to reach his eyes.

"No," Ventus flatly responded, turning his head away from Lea. For some reason, the red head he hardly knew anything about (other than the usual gossip) was giving off an eerie vibe. He felt that he shouldn't trust him for a strange reason… Aqua stared at him with her mouth agape.

Lea sighed, pulling the seat that was beside Ventus' out and plopped into it. "Come on," he nudged the blond, "I know you hardly know me and everything, but I'd really like to-"

"No," Ventus growled. The wariness deep within him was flaring at the boy's question. He hadn't the slightest idea why, but he felt weird when Lea continued asking him the same question. He narrowed his eyes and turned to the red head, "Aren't you with Naminè?"

Lea's eyes grew wide before they narrowed and he pushed himself from the table. Sharply he turned, leaving Ventus to his musings and sour mood. The blond sighed through a growl, neck growing limp as his forehead hit the table, causing Aqua to jolt out of her shock. She stared down at the boy beside her, awkwardly patting his unruly spikes as Terra took a seat across the two of them. He stared at Ventus in confusion, but the blue haired senior only shrugged as the blond grumbled to himself.

It was exhausting, really, to think someone so _'popular,'_ as people put it, could be _so_ annoying. All he wanted to do was go home, play sick, and have a nice nap. His attitude brightened considerably and he smiled dreamily at the thought of sleep.

"Uh, Ven, what was that?" Aqua whispered, eyelids slowing closing after their widened state.

"I have no idea," he murmured, closing his eyes as he moved his arms to fold around his head, he scooted his chair out, sighing in content when his back straightened comfortably.

"What do you mean _'I have no idea'_?" she asked incredulously.

Ventus opened his eyes to peak at her. "I really have no idea. He came to me this morning when I came to school early and started hitting on me. I declined, of course, and he kind of got mad at me. I was paranoid that he was going to beat me up earlier or something…"

Aqua exchanged a worried glance with Terra, who wasn't planning on voicing any sort of comment.

* * *

…_Is he coming?_

Ventus was sprawled unceremoniously on his bed, drowsy and welcoming sleep. The sun had long ago crawled the remainder of the way down the horizon, enveloping the room in a darkness that was unaffected by the reading lamp on his bedside table that he hadn't used in years. The faint glow of the bulb only elongated the shadows and projected them to the wall to Ventus' far left.

Faintly he could hear his father on the other side of his door, prepared to lock the door if his son began panicking. However, his son's silence was unsettling and he knocked on the door. He warily opened the door when he received no response.

When he cracked the door open, the sight of his son sleeping soundly brought relief to him. However, he knew it must be some sort of brief thing… He wasn't planning to cancel the therapy session that was only the next day. He sighed, wondering what went wrong. Softly, he closed the door once again, pressing his forehead to the wood of the door.

What had he done wrong?

Ventus entered the blissful balance between conscious and sleep, a dreamless state that allowed him to muffle his usual wariness. He wondered if tonight he would finally receive a sleep that would leave him fully rested instead of tired and stalled.

However, he was slightly pulled out of the bliss when he felt the heat of breathing on his neck. "Goodnight, Ventus," the breath whispered, pressing its lips to the crook of his neck. His eyes shot open, but he saw nothing in the darkness. He slowed his quickened breaths, stilling his heart, and absently ran a hand over his neck.

…Had that just happened?

* * *

_A/n: Edited out my comments, woo._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/n:_ _I apologize for how long it took. However, since only a few people commented, it would obviously be your faults. _._._I need you guys to start reviewing and telling me if you like a chapter or not because I'm really self-conscious about this fic. Not only is it my first Supernatural fic, but it also ties in many elements from many genres. It's the first fic I'm actually really proud of (hell, I'm striving to write a book with this idea).  
__Also: New powers and demons will be introduced soon. Believe me, when I mention something (I.e. certain powers, weaknesses, etc.), I do it for a reason, and not just to seem cool or to add more words.  
__Written with the help of: "Monochrome Effect" by Perfume, "Monster" by Lady Gaga, and MeeShee MuhFFin :D!  
__Song of the Chapter: "The Feel Good Drag" by Anberlin (Notice the "the", it matters when you look up the song. Believe me).  
__Extra note: Things may seem to get a bit cliché soon (I.e. typical high school life and drama), and taking from how I would react whenever shit like that happens in fics, you need to understand that it's NEEDED. Ven is a teenager that has a terrible secret that NO ONE knows about, and he's practically a loner and bullied. I need to elaborate on how cruelly people can treat him and how normal he's trying to be when his life is everything but. M'kay?  
__Warning: Foreshadowing, plot twists, plot introductions, language, therapy, drugging, and mass-murder._

_Edited: December 18__th__, 2010_

* * *

_Lygophobia_

_Chapter 3_

* * *

Darkness…

Suffocating, frigid darkness surrounded him as he fell freely. He hadn't the slightest idea where he was; he was only aware of the spikes of his hair fluttering dangerously as he looked to where he presumed the surface of whatever hellish pit he was diving into. However, his eyes failed to catch any source of light or actual image whatsoever. Panic rose in his throat as he wrenched his arms away from his sides to hold them before his face. When he couldn't make out even the faintest outline, he whimpered helplessly.

Falling… falling… Still he continued falling into the unknown, unaware what was at the bottom (if gravity applied to where he was falling), or at the top. Freezing air currents rushed over his body, rippling his loose shirt and slightly tugging at his jeans from the sheer force. He ran his hands over his arms where he discovered miniscule bumps had risen on his skin from the harsh temperature. A shudder wracked his body, causing his limbs to twitch and jerk dangerously as it traveled from head to toes.

He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath until his chest began to constrict and burn painfully. When he opened his mouth for oxygen, water rushed into the orifice and he immediately attempted to scream as a reflex. It caused panic to double upon itself as the water only rushed to his lungs. He attempted to cough, but the liquid only hurried down his esophagus faster. His fingers clutched at his throat, scratching at his neck in a pathetic attempt to remove the water, but was deemed fruitless. The large bubbles escaping his mouth soon depleted, growing smaller before ceasing altogether. A faint light appeared before him, but his eyes clouded and the corners of his vision burned away as he lost consciousness.

* * *

Ventus shot up in his bed, panting heavily as his eyes shot around the entire room. He was violently shaking, and spots swam before his vision. The cold air conditioning swept through his body and the thin layer of sweat covering his entire person dried on contact as his skin grew cold. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, promising no chances of slowing anytime soon. Instinctively his trembling hands ran over his body to check for every limb, and, when he reassured himself he was still whole, he slowed his heavy breathing.

The morning sun was beginning to peek his window and, when he glanced at the alarm clock by his bed, he noticed that he had woken up on time to prepare for school. However, uneasiness arose in the pit of his stomach as he remembered that it was a Wednesday. He was going to be taken out of school early, like every other week, to pay a visit to his therapist.

He lifted himself from his bed, repeating his daily morning ritual without the familiar pain in his step. It was strange waking without it, no matter how much he hated it. Without it, everything felt different. Without various limbs or his neck sore from the night before, he felt odd. Like a completely different person. Like a normal person for once in his teenaged years.

When he entered the kitchen fully dressed where his parents were, he wasn't greeted with a stare from his mother or a glare from his father. Instead, a smile radiated from the woman sitting at the table beside the man who was quietly sipping at his coffee. There was still an uncomfortable air, but it wasn't suffocating like every other day.

His mother's smile widened when he sat across from her and he couldn't stifle the small smile he gave her as well. It wasn't her fault he was as he was, and he wasn't going to hold it against her… No matter that she was always uncomfortable around him or that she had to force the smiles. However, his smile faltered and he had the sudden urge to leave for school early. It didn't matter to him if he would be succumbed to waiting, he really felt like walking for some unimaginable reason. He glanced over to the clock hanging on the wall of the kitchen, noticing that he had a quarter of an hour before school was due. He stood and nodded to his mother, gaze lingering on his father as he left the kitchen and grabbed his backpack before walking out the front door.

It was a cold morning, an obvious characteristic of mid-October, but that didn't dampen Ventus' high spirits. However, his mind took a dive towards darkness as he thought about his strange dream. What did it mean? Was Vanitas still torturing him from beyond the mortal world? He shivered at the possibility. Was Vanitas angry? Did he… know about Lea? He blanched significantly and a shiver ran up his spine that wasn't related to the weather.

He quickly raised his mood by sifting through what he could possibly do for the remaining days of his freedom. He knew he was going to therapy directly after school, but perhaps he could ask Terra and Aqua if they wanted to go somewhere.

Wait… How long was Vanitas _actually _going to be gone?

He frantically shook the thought from his mind and he distracted himself with ideas. Possibly, he could take his friends to the movies. He heard that there was a good movie opening that coming Friday from both of them, but thinking it over, the movie seemed too _bright _in his honest opinion. Vaguely he wondered if the company that created the movies cold possibly make dark versions of them. It would be interesting to see the smiling animals perishing in a forest fire-

Ventus stumbled, snapping him out of his morbid thoughts. Immediately his guard skyrocketed as he glanced around nervously. Was he being paranoid? He knew the hand wrapped around his ankle wasn't just a figment of his overactive imagination. Nervously his fingers tugged on his jacket that hardly protected him from the weather that was slowly declining as fall approached. He bit the corner of his bottom lip, wincing at the pain from a sore nerve that Vanitas had obviously bitten a bit too hard two nights before. He was shaking, trembling; his eyes wide as a wave of chilling air swept past him.

Quickly he broke into a run, only stopping when the crosswalks commanded him to. School wasn't far away, but from the scare he had only a few blocks away, he wouldn't doubt that something would happen once again. Out of breath, he climbed up the stairs to the entrance of his school wearily, panting as he leaned against the doorway.

"Oh! Ven, you're early!" Ventus inclined his head to his left to attempt looking behind him. He hastily pushed away from the doorway, turning completely to see the familiar blue-haired junior that he had known for so long. She waved to him hesitatingly, but as she looked him over, her eyes grew wide lightly.

"You look horrible… A-Are you alright?" her voice was careful, unsure, as if she worried if Ventus would snap at her for showing the slightest bit of concern for him. However, he only laughed nervously, a forced laugh, but one nonetheless, and scratched the back of his head.

"Wednesdays aren't my prime, you know…" he noted her stifled wince and he quickly plowed through his complaint. "I'm fine! D-Did you and Terra want to hang out at the movies this Saturday-?" Aqua's eyes widened at whoever was behind him and he knew something bad was there.

"Hey, Ventus," an annoyingly cheery voice drawled behind him, said blond not needing to turn to the speaker to know who it was. "I've been waiting all morning!" the person whined, wrapping their arms around Ventus' waist. If the blond could grow any angrier, he would probably kill someone. Aqua stared in surprise and paled when she caught Ventus' eyes flash golden as he brought his elbow into his attacker's stomach.

Ventus couldn't understand what had just happened when he felt Lea jerk away from him, coughing loudly as he clutched his stomach. He blinked in surprise, spinning quickly on his heels to catch the red head's gaze that was both shocked and pained.

Darkness flashed in the corner of his eyes and he snapped his head to his right, where it had been. For a millisecond it seemed, his vision blurred and his eyes shook slightly as a chilled breeze wafted through his bangs, fluttering them. His eyes readjusted and caught a blob sinking into the linoleum floor.

"Ven, are you alright?" Aqua asked, watching the blond with concerned eyes. Had she really seen what she thought she had? Had his eyes really changed colors? Lea had long since scampered away, most likely to return to his friends. She hardly cared.

Ventus' eyes trailed over to her shocked gaze and he froze. Aqua was staring at him with wide eyes, and he didn't need to ask her if she had seen the mass of darkness as well. He knew she did.

Maybe things were looking up; at least one friend seemed to understand.

"Ven… what was that?"

* * *

"Larxene," Vanitas muttered, wings folding against his back as he settled into a seated position beside the blonde woman. She acknowledged him with only a hum. He shook his head slightly and growled, "I don't think I'm going to graduate anytime soon, if at all…"

She inclined her head towards him, shifting slightly as she stretched her leg over the craggy cliffside it was extended over. "I knew it. I knew that you were too whipped to do anything. You are _so_ pathetic."

Ignoring her, he sighed and threw his legs over the side as well, knocking them against the wall. "Someone's taken an interest in him, it seems. I can't keep them away forever, they seem persistent."

Larxene chuckled slightly, a small smile gracing her lips. "You can't expect them not to. Besides, you can't stop your human if they want to fall in love with someone else."

Vanitas' eyes narrowed darkly and he glared down at the vast expanse of darkness beyond the cliff. "I'll kill him before he can," he whispered. "He's mine and he'll stay that way until he dies."

"Rushing through with what Xemnas wants will only hurt you, you know," Larxene replied nonchalantly, heels of her boots hitting against a few small rocks as she swung them monotonously, like a pendulum.

"Speaking of Xemnas," Vanitas frowned, "I have to go talk to him soon to _discuss _my current dilemma."

"What do you think he might do?"

"He could kill me," Vanitas laughed bitterly, "or he could take Ventus away and kill him himself." He closed his eyes and slowly reclined to a laying position on the craggily ground. "He's done it before, after all."

"Good luck," she cheerily grinned, clapping him on the back. He could only roll his eyes at her attitude, but a small smirk crawled onto his lips. He sighed before standing, brushing off the back of his pants for dirt. A small part of him felt scared, confronting the Elder, but the rest of him suppressed it with false courage.

He reached the Leader's office with little trouble, the dread building upon itself inside him. When he reached the door within the registration building that the demons were using to minimize the trouble of manually counting each and every being, he thickly swallowed the lump in his throat. The underling demons that were playing secretary seemed mildly interested as they allowed him to pass without a question. He hesitatingly rapped his knuckles against the frosted glass pane of Xemnas' office door, shuddering when a deep voice thundered a word for entrance inside. He opened the door and nervously poked his head into the opening. Being in the presence of an Elder was indeed a humbling experience.

"Enter, Vanitas," the demon behind the large oak desk smirked, staring down at the Shadow with amusement as he flinched. Vanitas stumbled to the chair placed before Xemnas' desk, collapsing into it with minimal difficulty. All expression dropped from the Elder's face when the raven raised his eyes. His fingers gripped the armrest, claws nearly puncturing the leather from the sheer force he was applying to it.

"I appreciate that you're so _dedicated _to your duty, but it's been _years_. If you do not graduate soon, I will be forced to dismiss you."

Vanitas' eyes grew wide and he paled further than his already light complexion. He knew that the Elder could only mean death. He could have sworn he heard the leather pop as his claws punctured the leather. Xemnas only raised an eyebrow, but the raven's panic was far too great to care.

"H-How long do I have?" Vanitas choked out, quickly pulling at his finger that was trapped in the material of the seat.

"A month," Xemnas replied, his deep voice showing absolutely no emotion towards the Shadow's worries. "However, I am prepared to do away with your human sooner if you show absolutely no progress."

"S-Sir," Vanitas whispered, struggling to keep his voice even and his eyelids from growing wide once more, "I… can't."

Xemnas laced his fingers and leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his desk as he looked down at the demon once again over his fingers. "And why not?"

All words were lost to Vanitas as his wings twitched at the anxious feeling coursing through his veins. He blinked, opening his mouth before closing it once again. "I'll… do it, sir," he forced, eyes staring at the ground, unblinking, lids almost closed as all sense escaped him.

"Good," Xemnas hummed, amusement crawling back onto his features. "I will send some demons to regularly check up on your progress. You are dismissed."

Mechanically, Vanitas stood, eyes remaining downcast as he walked to the door without a word. He opened the door and only raised his eyes as he sensed someone before him. He met the golden gaze of a girl, and, when he was walking away, had to look back to confirm his suspicions that it was, indeed, Xion.

Was she already deemed fit for a human? Good for her. Maybe then she could graduate quickly and get Xemnas off his back.

* * *

"How was your day at school?"

Resting his forehead against the glass window of his mother's car, he couldn't bring himself to answer her. It was the same as every other day, obviously, albeit the strange occurrences from earlier that morning. He couldn't tell her. She would think either her only child was insane or she would… he couldn't imagine what else could possibly be done.

He hadn't the slightest idea when he had fallen asleep, but as he flinched when his mother lightly shook his shoulder, whipping his head in her direction, he knew he had. She smiled down at him, softly whispering, "we're here."

It was then that he noticed that the car was parked in front of the familiar building of his therapist. He shook his head slightly, rubbing at his eyes as he pulled at the door handle. He quickly stepped out of the car, stretching when he stood to full height. Obediently he followed his mother as she walked through the doors of the building, holding the door open for him. He hurried through, thanking her. The receptionist looked up at the two of them with a well-versed smile, and soon Ventus found himself in his therapist's office.

Tense silence suffocated him as he shifted uncomfortably in the seat before his therapist. It may have been an exaggeration if he concentrated on the minute sounds of birds chirping outside, the air conditioner working full blast or the distant ticking of an analog clock, but those were beside the point.

He was uncomfortable, and that's all that mattered.

Sure, Ms. Gainsborough was a kind woman, but the fact that she was expecting answers to the prying questions that she asked was enough to make it awkward with her.

"You know, Ventus, I need at least a bit of information so we could start on the road to being diagnosed."

He almost laughed. Diagnosed? It was simple, really. Just a few fears and a fucking_ demon_ thrown into the mix could only mean one thing. He couldn't tell her, she would only think he was insane.

Lies. He could only lie straight through his teeth. He could only tell her lies he either made up on the spot or thought through on the car ride. Stupid things, like he was depressed and couldn't make friends or that he was afraid of interacting with people. A _lie_.

He loved people in actuality.

…Or at least, he _used_ to.

Being shunned by practically your entire school because they thought you were not only crazy but also gay did_ not _help at all. He fell far from his popularity long ago in Junior High School when he had told a few of his friends about Vanitas. They laughed, they teased, and they soon grew to hate him.

He was lucky that the only rumor that truly stuck with him was being gay. It wasn't as severe as being insane. He could handle the insults and teasing. The only person that knew even a little about Vanitas was Aqua, and, although she was wary of him, she didn't believe it.

…Well, at first she didn't. From what had occurred that morning, he was convinced she believed him now.

"Ms. Gainsborough," he muttered, throat tightening as he almost choked on his words, "I don't _want _to tell you anything."

"You need to, Ventus."

"I… can't," he whispered.

"Dear," she hummed, quickly scribbling something down onto her notepad, "I won't tell anyone."

"Please," Ventus pleaded, raising his head to stare into her emerald eyes, "promise me that this information won't leave the room."

The brunette's eyes grew wide, but she nodded, closing her notepad and pushing her pen far away from her to show that she wouldn't make a move to note it.

Ventus inhaled deeply, shuddering as the breath exited his parted lips. "Just- don't think I'm crazy or anything…"

"I won't, I promise," his therapist smiled.

"There's this d-" his breath stopped and he couldn't force the words out. It felt as though there was a hand clamped tightly against his lips, but he couldn't see a thing. He attempted to breathe through his mouth but it was caught short and he sharply inhaled through his nose. It was stifled significantly and he begun to panic.

"Ventus?" his therapist asked, eyes showing her full concern. "Finish your thought-"

Ventus' eyes grew wide when the woman before him was cut short; eyes unblinking, frozen. All the sounds around him abruptly silenced, causing his body to twitch and his fears to peak. A light flashed before him and all attempts of breathing stopped.

"Don't say a word," Vanitas breathed, pulling his hand away from the blond's mouth. Ventus' lips parted slightly, breath catching in his throat when the demon leaned forward. His lips touched the blond's softly, hesitantly at first, before pressing harder, melding their mouths together as Ventus found himself doing the same.

His eyes fell shut as he pushed himself further into the kiss, hand tightening on the armrest when Vanitas pinned his wrists to prop himself up to ensure he could lean over him. He hated the fact that he was giving in so easily so quickly, but he couldn't make himself care. Deep down inside, he knew his missed this.

Vanitas leaned forward slightly, tilting Ventus' head back as the kiss deepened further. His tongue ran along the blond's bottom lip, pushing passed the opening to maul the inside of his mouth. A moan rattled through the blond's throat despite his attempts to stifle it.

A lightheaded feeling enveloped him and he jerked away. Panting, he stared up at the demon, eyes hazing slightly. Vanitas seemed to be staring at something behind the two of them over the back of the leather chair, eyes wide before narrowing dangerously. "Damn spies," he hissed. When his gaze fell down to Ventus, he bit his lip, eyebrows furrowing.

"I can't do it…" he whispered, head falling forward as he stared down at the carpeted floor between Ventus' legs. "I just… can't…"

"Do what?" Ventus slurred, blinking slowly as his head began to spin.

Vanitas raised his head and his eyes were swimming with a longing look. In a flash of light he disappeared, and reality was taken off its unnatural pause.

"-Ventus," his therapist finished, blinking in confusion when she took in Ventus' current state. Her eyes grew wide as the blond's pupils dilated. "Ventus?"

The blond's head lolled forward helplessly, like a rag doll, seemingly unsupported as his body wavered slightly. As Ventus' eyes refocused once again, he could only catch the sight of his therapist frantically reaching out towards him over her desk before he fainted.

* * *

Vanitas disapprovingly shook his head while watching the ant-like creatures frantically stumbling over one another as he stood facing the space where two cliff sides met to form the perfect corner. It seemed almost _too _easy to corner the spies and, although a slight twinge of paranoia settled deep within him, he couldn't help but feel a bit smug. He sighed and raised his hand, stretching his fingers experimentally before settling with only his index finger. The power surged as if a flood gate had been opened and a dark ball of energy formed at the tip if his claw. The dark aura soon doubled in size, causing the miniscule demons to begin to panic. With an evil smirk embodying all his anger, his dread, and even worry, the energy shot out and blasted them all into oblivion. Darkness swirled where the spies had once stood, lingering as a reminder of what once was. He crouched and batted away the smoke-like swirls bitterly.

"Someone seems upset." The raven flinched, inclining his head towards the somewhat familiar voice behind him. Catching the cerulean gaze of the mysterious person, his breath caught in his throat and his eyes grew wide.

"V- _Roxas_?" Vanitas quickly corrected himself, silently cursing the slip up. His nose wrinkled at the overpowering sent of light the Radiant carried. It was already giving him a headache.

"Hello, Vanitas," the blond simply replied, moving to stand beside the Shadow before taking a seat himself. "Would you mind telling me why you just destroyed a handful of Xemnas' spies?"

Vanitas' nose wrinkled further and his anger flared. "I don't see why that would be any of your business."

"Well," Roxas drawled, watching the last remains of the spies' wispy existences swirl away into the air, "I believe that watching you murder a few innocent beings would make anyone curious."

Vanitas twitched a bit, anger growing deep within him. Just being so close to the being of Light was enough to piss him off, but the interrogating was make him seethe. Why wasn't a demon allowed to murder without a reason? He wanted to be left alone. He needed to think over his assignment and Xemnas' deadline. In both a metaphorical and literal sense. He mentally laughed at his pun.

"You're not going to tell me? I suppose you _do _have something to hide, then."

Vanitas sighed and shook his head. Why did he feel that he obligated to tell Roxas? …His holiness must have been rubbing off on him, which was a sickening thought. Another sigh. "I don't want to die," he finally muttered, causing the Radiant beside him to raise an eyebrow.

"You're dying, so you killed demons?" Roxas voice had a hint of disbelief, albeit being amused.

"No," Vanitas hissed irately, head falling into his hands as his fingers threaded through his jagged bangs. He was extremely exhausted and had no desire for twenty questions due to the immense power he had just used, however, the blond beside him seemed very persistent.

"Well…?" Roxas' voice trailed off hopefully.

"If I don't, Xemnas will."

"Will, what? Vanitas, you aren't making any sense," Roxas huffed, looking over with concern. He quickly blinked it away; this wasn't Sora…

"I can't kill him, and Xemnas can't know," Vanitas whispered, moving to sit appropriately. "I tried… I really did…"

"Your human?" Roxas asked, curiosity piqued. "Xemnas will kill him? I don't understand."

Vanitas' skull pulsed. "I don't even know why I'm bothering to tell you," he sighed, noise wrinkling once again. "I tried drugging him so he wouldn't die painfully, but I couldn't follow through…"

A small smile touched Roxas' lips despite their grave conversation. "You must really care about him, don't you?" he whispered.

Vanitas spared him a fleeting glance, sighing once again before pushing himself to his feet. "See you 'round," he muttered, cutting their conversation short. He didn't want to deal with anyone. His wings twitched, expanding to full span as he had absolutely no desire to walk home. He jumped and quickly propelled himself high into the air, leaving the blond without sparing a final answer. Roxas watched the demon fly away, sighing as he stood to full height. He shook his head disapprovingly and turned to walk away.

…At least his powers worked on the raven.

* * *

"…Ventus! Ventus! Wake up!"

Ventus' eyes cracked open to meet the sun in his face. Immediately he winced, closing his eyes once again to avoid the light. A shaky sigh of relief left the person that was attempting to shake him awake. He opened his eyes once again, staring up at his mother. "Mom?"

The woman immediately pulled him into a suffocating hug, and he noticed that she was trembling. "Ventus, I was so scared!"

"You have to take him to the hospital," his therapist whispered beside him, and he noticed that he was still seated in the large chair.

His eyes grew wide when he registered her comment. "No," he whispered against him mother. "I'm fine! No… no…"

"Ventus?" his mother squeaked, holding her son away at arm's length. "What are you saying? Aerith, is he alright?"

"I'm fine! It's just… no!" He couldn't risk anything. He hadn't been to the hospital in years, he couldn't let them see his scars. No one had seen his scars, not even his doctor.

"Ventus, it's just a precaution!" Aerith reassured, eyes wide in confusion.

"I can't! I'm fine, really! I'll just take two Tylenols when I get home to make the headache go away! I'm sure it's just lack of sleep!"

"We have to take you!" his mother cried, shaking his lightly.

"I'm fine!"

"Are you afraid of hospitals, Ventus?" Aerith asked, a hand touching his shoulder hesitatingly.

Realization dawned on the blond and he vigorously nodded. He needed to get out of this situation. His mothers eyes could only grow wide and she stared at her son.

"You are?"

"Y-Yeah!" he stuttered, hoping his mother would buy the lie.

"Alright…" she muttered, raising to full height as she blinked down at her son. "Let's… go home then." She turned and began walking out, causing Ventus to frantically scramble after her to keep up.

"I'm sorry, Mom…" Ventus whispered when he followed his mother out the door of the building, but he was sure that she didn't hear him. "I really am."

* * *

_A/n: Ending was rushed… D:  
__Thanks for reading! Please review and give me feedback to tell me if I should keep writing! Sora would really appreciate it! Sora: *barks* (She's my new puppy! :D)  
__If you have any questions about certain things if you don't understand, just leave a review and I'll reply as quickly as possible! However, I won't give out spoilers to anyone but MeeShee, so hah. XD_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/n: School started on July 28… but now, since the first quarter is over, I have two weeks off. :D  
__HOLY SHIT. I WAS LOOKING IN /cm/ OF 4CHAN AND GUESS WHAT. SOMEONE FUCKING LINKED HERE. I PRETTY MUCH DIED HAPPY. LIKE, THIS IS MY GHOST. SHIT, THAT WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME. :D  
__Thank you, those who review and boost my confidence. :] Sorry this chapter is pretty late… but school and all… And I was grounded periodically… I'm sorry… Also, sorry I haven't replied to any of my recent reviews, I've been going through a LOT.  
__I'm trying out a new style! Try to tell the difference!  
__OH MY FUCKING GOD, I GOT BIRTH BY SLEEP AND A PSP. :D HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE IT?  
__Another Note (9/24/2010): Yesterday, I was diagnosed by my doctor to be mildly depressed. It pretty much caught me off guard. He said that it would explain my irritation and all of my emotional emptiness, my practical phobia which reacts to just the thought of the future, and some other things. Currently, I have been prescribed some medication to motivate me. :C  
__Written with the help of: "Like a G6" by Far East Movement, my "Mood Setter" playist on iTunes on shuffle, and MeeShee MuhFFin! :D  
__Song of the Chapter: "Diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin  
__Warning: OOC-ness regarding Lea. I'm going to change him into his actual personality soon, don't worry. Also, you find out who Ventus' dad is. :o *le gasp* Vanitas will be VERY evil in this chapter as well, and there will be MANY cliff hangers.  
__Sorry for all of the long A/N's. XD _

_Edited: February 17, 2011_

* * *

_Lygophobia_

_Chapter Four_

* * *

A monotonous dripping sound invaded his senses, causing him to suddenly realize the dampness of his surroundings. He cracked his eyes open, wincing when he felt his head pulse as he lifted it. The horrible smell of rusted metal and mold overpowered his senses. His head began swimming with every breath he took.

After a few silent moments, he raised his eyes to chance a glimpse of his surroundings, meeting only darkness. He shifted against the hard surface he was leaning against, growing alert when he noticed he was upright. He attempted to jerk his hands to the throbbing back of his head, fear peaking when he found they were restrained high above him. Cold metal chain links rustled loudly as he tried once again to move his hands. His breath hitched when the loose, rusted cuffs around his wrists suddenly grew tighter, causing his hands to grow warm and numb when blood began pooling in them. He squeaked, shaking his hands once again in desperation. The backs of his hands rubbed against the cold, damp wall continuously, causing his palms to tingle slightly.

A squeak escaped his parted lips and he shook his arms, whining in desperation when the metal chafed against his skin. He broke out into a nervous perspiration, panting as his hands hung limply high above his head.

The light of the moon coming in from what he suspected was a barred window near the ceiling flickered dangerously, like the weak flame of a dying candle. He held his breath, attempting to expel all fear in the pit of his stomach. The natural light blinked once again and he shut his eyes to avoid the imminent darkness. A small flame slowly grew to life in the corner opposite the one he was changed against, providing a weak light. However, as soon as it had flared to life, it died away. A screech filled his ears and his eyes snapped open, taking in the sight of sparks in the corner of the now pitch dark room. The squealing of the unknown source grew more intense and he cried out, his ears ringing horribly. All of the sudden, the sound ceased.

A small, nervous laugh echoed through the room. Two glowing orbs turned to his direction, an unfamiliar tinge of guilt in them. The emotion quickly swam out of the unknown entity's gaze, however, and a somewhat uninterested monotone voice called out, "Hello, Ventus."

He was completely speechless. The voice seemed familiar… He could not place his finger on it, however, due to the overwhelming fear wracking his body. His entire mind was blank… he could not remember a thing. The back of his head throbbed as if he had been struck, but he could not recall any attack.

The light from the moon poured into the room once again and his breath caught in his throat when the mysterious being smiled at him. It brushed its bang out of its eyes nonchalantly, revealing its golden eyes. Pain shot through his body as his entire world was enveloped in darkness once again.

Ventus jerked upright in bed, panting heavily as he scrambled desperately in his blankets. The breaking dawn bathed his entire body in an eerie glow, the twilight hour mesmerizing as the moon lowered and the sun followed in its wake. He pulled his hands from beneath the sheet, staring in horror at the raw, bloody skin around his wrists. He trembled, blinking only once as more blood dripped onto the white sheets.

His breath hitched sharply in his throat and he frantically jumped off his bed, running through the open door of his bathroom and halting before the sink. He turned on the water, shoving his wrists underneath the steady stream until the clotted blood swirling down the drain ran clear. When he pulled them out, he grew an unhealthy bloodless shade as he took in the sight of his unmarred skin.

* * *

"Hey, Ven, you okay?"

Ventus blinked at the person sitting beside him, mind veering away from the strange nightmare he had dreamed that night. Terra stared at him somewhat strangely, but the curiosity disappeared when the small blond smiled hesitatingly up at him. He nodded, the small smile never leaving his lips.

It was not everyday he and Terra would hang out in the mornings, but due to Aqua's absence from school that day, it was only him and the brunet senior. He did not mind the stoic demeanor of boy; it was actually welcomed in their group. A nice balance, as Aqua liked to call it. Like a scale, she was to Ventus' left while Terra was to his right, both keeping the blond's world rightfully turning as he sat dutifully in the center.

However, Terra could be talkative and nice when he wanted to be, but it was not a regular occurrence. It usually occurred around Ventus, but he would not comment on the fact. It was a simple observation. For all he knew, Terra could act the same around Aqua as well. It was an unnerving thought, so he did not dwell on it for too long. It made him feel paranoid.

"…Yeah," he replied finally, twiddling his thumbs. He felt slightly embarrassed after having been caught practically daydreaming. However, it was still bothering him. Where was he in the dream? Why was he chained to the wall? Who was the person? Why did it feel so… real? It frightened him.

"…Ven! Ven!" Fingers snapped in his gaze once again and Ven jumped, head jerking back and nearly hitting the wall of the locker he was leaning against. "Ven, really, what's wrong? You're out of it, again."

'_I wish I could tell you…' _Ventus thought miserably, a frown moving onto his features. "It doesn't matter. I'm fine," he muttered.

"No, Ven. I can tell that something is wrong." Ventus flinched at the insistence pouring through his friend's tone. He did not understand why Terra would want to know what was wrong with him, let alone care. Suddenly, he felt extremely uncomfortable and he quickly looked away.

"You'll think it's stupid," he mumbled, fingers playing with the checkered wristband Aqua had gifted him for his birthday. At the time, he had been both extremely flattered and shocked, but now, from the waves of tremors traveling through his body and the nervous sweat he had broken out in, it was only causing his skin irritation.

"Tell me," he insisted once again, "I really won't." When Ventus stayed silent, the brunet added, "I promise."

"_Don't tell,_" a voice whispered in his ear, and he was suddenly all-too aware of the break in time, the same that had occurred the day before. However, when he jerked his head in the direction of the voice, he found an empty space. "_We'll be forced to kill him._" The voice was directly in front of him, and yet, when he turned his head, he still found nothing. A horrifying mental image of a disemboweled Terra flashed through his mind's eye, one that was implanted by whoever was speaking to him. He began trembling, all color draining from his face as time resumed. He recognized the voice. He could not recall the time or place, but he knew the voice. It was unmistakable.

He thickly swallowed the lump in his throat as Terra blinked at him, the glossy expression moving once again. However, all he could see of the brunet was blood and body parts strewn across the floor. "I… I had a really bad dream. It's no big deal," Ventus hastily replied, fidgeting as his finger ran under the wristband once again.

"You were pale… and shaking…"

"C-can we just drop it? Please?" the blond pleaded, his voice pathetically cracking mid-sentence. He played with the white edges of the wristband once again, wishing for some sort of distraction.

Terra closed his mouth. He wanted to know why Ventus was so afraid, but he did not want to go against his wishes by asking any further questions. They both continued watching people enter the building silently, only moving when the first bell rang to indicate the hasty sprint for first hour. Slowly they both stood with the blond avoiding eye contact with the brunet as they both parted ways.

Terra was left with a dark curiosity, one that would plague the back of his mind for the rest of the day. He could not understand his friend's strange behavior. It seemed more severe than his normal odd behavior. It was killing him. He wanted to help Ventus, but he needed to know what was bothering him. It was frustrating that the blond refused to share.

Meanwhile, as Ventus slowly shuffled through the hallway, the nightmare began slipping from the grasp of his mind. His eyes grew wide as the face of the person began slipping away, moving backwards into the darkness. Its lips moved strangely, enunciating his name in a hushed whisper, reversed and almost unrecognizable. He abruptly halted before his classroom door, a sharp pain shooting through his skull as in his mind's eye, the moonlight receded back through the barred window. The water droplets slowly flew back into the leaking pipe, rushing into some unknown water source. The numbness in his hand faded away and he stopped struggling against the cuffs, cuts closing as blood trailed back up his arms. The candle flickered, flame dancing from the wick to the tip in a strange, slowed dance. The light on the wall receded into the candle as it went out, smoke swirling into the damp air.

He stumbled and leaned against the wall beside the door, grunting when his back met the hard surface. He was once again covered in a blanket of darkness as his vision began burning away in their corners, his migraine pulsing to a painful throb. He blinked away the feeling desperately, hoping, _praying, _that he would not faint.

Ventus turned once again to the door to his classroom, shakily moving back onto his two feet and entering just as the bell screeched in his ears.

* * *

"Zexion…"

A sickening snap…

"Lexaeus…"

A violent cracking sound…

"Vexen…"

Vanitas glanced over at the woman who was standing beside him as she tapped the crumbling ruins nonchalantly. Her fingers danced over every juncture, every crack, _mockingly_.

"So nice of Xemnas to give them the decency of a gravestone… however…" she flicked off bits of the rubble. "Those that are executed do not deserve anything to mark their pitiful existence." Another piece.

A small smirk flitted across his lips directed towards her humorous display as he crouched beside an unharmed gravestone. Demyx… He remembered him. He was somewhat an acquaintance. When he had learned of his death, he _almost_ felt sad. He could only sit before his headstone, as he was now, and stare down the grooves of the words that summed up his existence. His name, his specie of demon, and his accomplishments in his short life. There was hardly anything written. His smirk fell.

Larxene yawned into her hand, turning to the Shadow. "Oh, you're still here?" she hummed. Her gaze turned to the headstone and she scoffed, leaning against the stone disrespectfully. "That's what he got for roaming the Human World without Xemnas' consent. I wasn't really surprised to hear they had gotten him so easily. I doubt he even put up much of a fight."

An uncomfortable silence befell the two of them. Vanitas glanced up at the woman, trying to decipher her unreadable expression. He could never guess at what she could possibly be thinking when she did not want him to. She had a poker face of a champion.

'They' were the Protectors, the humans born with supernatural powers of sorts whose responsibilities were to keep demons in check while insuring the mortals near their assigned areas were safe from the paranormal. Wherever there were Shadows, there were Protectors. However, most of the demons that were killed by them were usually of different specie, as was Demyx. He was a Nocturne, a water demon basically, unnaturally kinder than most of the creatures of his kind. His cheery nature was welcomed by most, and he stuck to Vanitas like glue. He was not much of a fighter, Vanitas could remember. He avoided the assignments that Xemnas gave him like some sort of plague, running off to his friends for the protection of the Elder's fury. However, as the laziness (or fear, Vanitas could not decide which it was) persisted, Xemnas' anger had bubbled down to a mere exasperation towards the blond's shenanigans and he would assign him things less and less until one day, he ignored the Nocturne altogether.

Demyx was joyous to be free of duties, and soon everyone found him becoming reckless. He was showy with his powers in the presence of mortals, which was very foolish. One day, after leaving for the Human World once again, as he did everyday, he never returned. Xemnas had sent lesser demons, the Floods, to search the oceans, and yet, their efforts were fruitless. However, the demons had discovered the demon's lifeless body, and immediately brought it back for some sort of proper burial. Everyone knew it was more of a confirmation to Xemnas that one of his Nocturnes had been murdered (brutally, at that). Back then, so long ago, it seemed, Nocturnes had been essential to the Demon Realm, and the demons were dropping dead left and right.

The burial had been silent. Silence was unwelcome when it came to Demyx. He was loud and obnoxious. He would scream at the top of his lungs if it meant that a pleasant ringing could echo in his ears. Demyx had once confirmed to Vanitas that, despite it being foolish, he was afraid of the silence. He would then hear the fear, the pain, and the misery of anyone when it was dead silent. Demyx hated pain.

Only a few of the demon's closest friends (those that cared enough to attend) had showed up to it, and had left without a word. For years - decades, even - after the Nocturne's passing, the music he had brought them would never leave. It was a sobering thought, and Vanitas caught himself before he could delve deeper into some sort of depression. He still had not come to terms with his friend's passing.

"How many have been killed by the Protectors?" Vanitas finally whispered, breaking the silence.

"There haven't been many in ratio to Creation rates, even before you were created. There were a few Newborns of different specie every now and then, but it seems Demyx was the last."

How long has it been? Vanitas sifted through his memories, trying, with great difficulty, to recall the date. His lips parted when he found it, calculating the math easily. "It's been one hundred years…." He could not believe it. The memory was so _vivid…_ like it could have just been the week before, not a century.

"I guess…" He did not comment as he heard the heels of Larxene's boots clicking on the stone walkway. He waited a few moments, giving the gravestone one last, long stare before standing, exiting the graveyard silently.

Slowly he shuffled through a fissure between plateaus, ducking his head as he realized he had grown slightly in the past year he had visited the area. He entered a small, shallow canyon, glancing around the empty area before hastily walking to a corner. There he sat, leaning against the wall of stone, and closed his eyes. Immediately, his senses were engulfed by an unfamiliar set. His nose was overpowered by the disgusting scent of sweat and testosterone, and his ears rang with the loud hum of people speaking in unison. His hands could feel the cold touch of metal, which was already warming from his body heat. His gaze was downcast, watching his fingers as they played with the hem of his shirt nervously. He used this technique often, but, due to its limitations, he could only use it on Ventus. It was then that he heard the whispered salutation behind him, and he was already out of the trance, at his feet, eyes narrowed.

The dry, cracked dirt beneath his shoes did not cause him fear as he balanced on the edge of the cliff. He strolled through the vast area, sun beating down on him but not causing perspiration. He reached an opening between two cliffs, staring down at the canyon below where whirlwinds leading into the Human World swirled freely. Quietly, he waited for one to slowly veer towards his direction before he jumped, free falling into the colored torrent of air.

Vaguely he wished he could execute a back flip before he was transferred.

* * *

"Hey."

A shiver traveled up his spine as the voice breathed down his neck. He clutched the shirt in his fingers tightly as he leaned away from the person, the corner of his gym locker pressing into his stomach.

"Go away," the blond responded, closing his eyes as the person only pressed against him tighter.

"I'm only saying hi."

"Leave me alone, Lea," Ventus hissed, the hand that was holding onto the door of his locker dug into the metal, turning his knuckles a harsh, bloodless bone white. He slammed it shut behind him, ignoring the ringing that hung in the air.

The red head simply moved away, turning so he was leaning against the wall beside the blond. "Listen," he said, sounding a bit forced, "all I want is to hang out or something. I'm not asking for too much."

Ventus hastily pulled his shirt on, glancing around the empty locker room fearfully. "N… No thank you." The glare he received from Lea only caused him to flinch. Quickly, he pressed his back against the locker, leaning as far away from him without him possibly noticing.

"_Listen_," Lea ground out, teeth clenched in some unnecessary fury. "Why do you _not_ like me? What's so _wrong _with talking to me?"

Ventus attempted to glare back, however, with the immense fear he was experiencing, it was futile. The red head forcefully grabbed his arm, slamming him further against the locker. The intense look in Lea's heated eyes asked him the question once again. "I don't know…," he whimpered, eyes glazing over as he trembled against him.

He ran a hand down his arm to his waist, pulling him flush against him. Ventus gasped, struggling against the red head's grip. "All I want to do is hangout_, Ven_."

"Don't call me that," the blond whispered, turning his head away from the red head. He clenched his eyes shut, whimpering when he felt hot breath fanning against his neck. There was a loud thud as Ventus sharply jerked away from him, skull meeting his locker painfully. Lea growled, moving forward and pinning him against the metal door.

"Stop struggling," he whispered, forcefully pressing his lips against the blond's. This only caused Ventus' ministrations to double as he thrashed in the red head's hold. As Lea's grip moved to tightly grip his hips, slamming him harder against the metal, a hopeless feeling swelled in the blond and his defenses slowly began crumbling away.

He stilled against the red head, trembling in his grip as his hand moved under his shirt. He whimpered against him, arching away from the hand desperately. He did not understand _why _Lea was doing what he was, all he knew was that he needed to escape from him before things got out of hand. He felt a warm touch against his stomach and chills ran down his spine, a nauseous feeling rising in his throat.

…He did not understand…

His eyes shot open, sparks of darkness flying around in his gaze. His hands shot out, forcefully pushing away the red head. His vision suddenly clouded as Lea's furious glare melted away into a wide, fearful stare.

* * *

Ventus thumbed the end of the ballpoint pen he clutched in his left hand while the fingers on his right hand skillfully drummed a beat onto his leg. He stared at the equations printed neatly on the white sheet of paper he had been assigned for homework, and was impeccably confused by the math. He sighed heavily, fisting his right hand in his hair, his left hand moving his index and middle finger continuously, both ends of his pen tapping on his paper. He loudly groaned, passing the book, sheet, and pen he had sitting in his lap towards the end of his bed. He slid off the comforter, pulling the black shirt he had on, leaving his comfortable wife beater, over his head and throwing it across the room, missing the hamper by a few inches. He had not noticed the door creak open when retrieving the clothing, his mother's voice startling him.

"Getting ready for bed?" she asked, taking in her son's wife beater top as an indication. Her tone did not seem strained as she spoke in a deceivingly sweet voice. Ventus looked over to his mother, scanning her soft pink nightgown as she flattened the sides of the soft fabric to her thighs. He must have lost track of the time.

"Oh, um, yeah…" Ventus really had no experienced talking to the woman anymore, what with being avoided for so long up until now. He was so afraid, though, that the cycle would resume the same as before (what with the slim-to-none conversations between them) once his demon returned from his little 'vacation'. He thought that (as seeing Vanitas during his therapy session) obviously meant he would be coming back soon enough for his somewhat normal days to be demolished. Therefore, Ventus would make the best of his days and try to remain as normal as he could, and when the demon returned, _maybe_ he would get a chance to resume this new lifestyle.

However, so lost in his musings, Ventus had not realized that his mother had bid him goodbye and goodnight. When she was closing the door, he had just barely been able to mumble his farewell to her, which had gone unnoticed (he assumed) due to her lack of a response.

Sighing to himself absentmindedly, he walked to his pale wooden dresser and pulled on the drawer's handle, picking out clothing for the night. He shuffled out of his dark-colored jeans and tugged on the sweatpants he had pulled out.

"You know, you really do look good shirtless," called a chilling voice, a menacing chuckle following the statement. "Maybe that's just my opinion. The scars look nice, though I can't understand why you hide them under such pitiful layers of clothing." Ventus locked his gaze on the open window above his bedside, watching the moon fade in and out of clouds while icy arms wrapped around his abdomen. "I think you like them too," Vanitas whispered, breath ghosting over the back of the blond's neck as he nuzzled his mouth and nose into the warm area of his neck and shoulder. Ventus' mouth fell open, a shiver running through his entire body.

"Oh, yes," Vanitas reminded himself with a grin, his fangs barely touching the scarred skin as he spoke again, "I'm back." Ventus was too petrified to even speak, barely even able to move, setting aside his slight tremble in the demon's arms.

He remained silent, afraid of what would happen next. The only thing calming in this situation was that Ventus' lamp had not yet gone out, but burned with a strange, new intensity. As if the light itself were counting off the minutes it had left until the light bulb would burn out. Its glow was ominous; it would grow large onto wall, and then quickly recede back into the lamp before repeating the process with much more gusto.

Vanitas' dark chuckle was buried as he ran his tongue over the two crescent moon shaped scars on his victim's neck. "You won't speak, Ventus. Why?" A glare molded onto the blond's features as his shot away from the window and to the clawed hands wrapping their fingers around both sides of his waist. A shiver wracked his body and he closed his eyes, unconsciously leaning into the Shadow's body. However, an abrupt spout of anger welled within him and his eyes snapped open.

"Like you don't know," he growled, appalled the demon could even _try_ to play innocent. "You gave me _two_ days, just barely." Ventus' voice cracked with anger. He would have jerked away from the other's touch by now, but knew well enough that it would either anger the Shadow, or amuse him. The raven shook his head, nibbling at the scarred skin playfully as he tried to decide what he could (and would) tell the teen.

"I'm back, and that's all that matters, now is it?" Vanitas whispered against the blond's neck, biting down on the skin of the juncture of the skin, a choked gasp escaping the blond's parted lips. His hands slipped lower down his sides, lifting his tank top and slipping his fingers under the hem.

"Although… it is a shame you just still have these on. How about I take them off? They could get uncomfortable in a few minutes…" The fingers that had slipped under the blond's pants ghosted over the fabric of his boxers as he nuzzled closer into the boys' neck, sucking at the smooth skin and humming at the blood blossoming under his ministrations to form a mark.

In a flash of movement, Ventus found himself underneath the raven haired boy, pinned to his bed. Vanitas' lips crashed down onto his, some sort of desperation underlying the touch. The blond could not help the moan that rose in his throat, but once again, like always, he swallowed it in defiance. Vanitas pushed harder into the kiss, opening the teen's mouth with his tongue, and forced his way through.

A dark blush dusted Ventus' cheeks but he refused to react. However, with the way his body was responding to the hand trailing under his shirt, he knew he could not hold out much longer. Vanitas' hand brushed his nipple with a gentle touch, the blond beneath him letting a small moan into the kiss finally. His resistance was breaking down, he needed to fight back. He closed his eyes tightly, another breathy sound from him rattling through their connected mouths as the hand under his shirt played with the nub once again.

Vanitas pulled away, smirking when Ventus tilted his head back and let out a low, guttural moan when the demon's hand dove into his boxers and wrapped around his semi-hardened length. The blond panted, another moan escaping his lips when the raven's hand tightened unbearably around him. Vanitas leaned down, covering the teen's open mouth with his own harshly in a searing kiss.

He retracted his hand, the blond whimpering from the cold air that touched his heated length momentarily. However, a harsh pressure was suddenly weighted on his waist as the raven straddled him. He groaned at the force, wincing as Vanitas made no effort to shift at all to make the blond at least _slightly _comfortable. The demon above him suddenly snapped his head to his left, staring at something he presumed was in the corner of his room. However, a large, sadistic smile crawled onto Vanitas' lips as he turned back to stare down at Ventus. "Tell me, do you believe in your Creator?"

"E-excuse me?" Ventus panted, confused by the question.

"Your deity… Your God, Your holy Creator, etcetera. Do you believe in him?"

"Y… yes?" the blond whispered hesitantly, baffled by the raven's interrogation.

The door to Ventus' room creaked open, and the smile on Vanitas' lips grew wider as he slowly inclined his head towards it. The blond's eyes grew wide, mouth falling open, but the demon only tightly covered it with his hand.

"Ven-"

A choked gasp was captured by Vanitas' hand as Ventus watched his father's eyes fly open in shock. The demon's smile grew even wider, fangs glistening by the light of both the artificial lamp light and the moon's glow. In an instant, the raven had disappeared from his place hovering above Ventus, reappearing in a flash behind the blond's father. His clawed hands gripped the man's chin as he chuckled, leaning his head against the man's arm to keep an eye on Ventus.

"Mr. Highwind," he whispered, laughing as the man stiffened against him in absolute fear, "are you afraid?"

"D-don't…" Ventus mumbled, sitting up and staring at his father, who was pale and shaking violently. The demon merely ignored him, lightly running his nails against the man's neck, applying enough pressure for scratches to appear.

"Ventus…" his father pleaded, tilting his chin away from the demon's claws, ignoring the stinging sensation his actions caused as his stubbly chin touched his scratches.

"This isn't funny…" Ventus whispered eyes wide and fearful as he stared at the demon.

Vanitas only rolled his eyes at the small blond, pressing his cheek against the man's bicep, claws finally coming to rest on his shoulder. "You bore me sometimes, let me have fun."

"Ventus… what the _hell_ is this?" his father choked out, leaning away from the demon's touch.

"I'm a Shadow demon," Vanitas hummed, sadistic smile returning to his lips as Ventus' eyes grew wide. _What was he doing? _"My job is to basically terrorize little Ven over there every night, as I have been for the past two years. Thanks to your efforts, he has never been able to escape me. I bet you feel like a pretty bad parent right now, huh?"

Ventus' eyes swam in tears, but he blinked away the liquid. _This was not happening… _His father was staring down at him, eyes wide, trembling ceased as realization dawned on him.

"The devil is what you are," Ventus' father gruffly whispered, pale complexion causing his son to tremble. His father was _never _afraid.

"However," Vanitas continued, lightly pressing his claws into the man's shoulder, "now that you've seen me and I've told you what I'm here for, I'm going to have to kill you."

There was a strangled noise in the blond's throat as his gaze was filled with fear. "No, Vanitas!" he cried out, jumping to his feet. The Shadow's gaze turned critical as his grip on the teen's father grew tight. Ventus was silenced, staying still as his father winced in pain.

Vanitas removed his hand from the man's shoulder, placing the tip of his claw against his temple as his hand mimicked a handgun, snickering as Ventus paled. "Pow!" he whispered, and the man immediately fell limp in his arms. Without issue he caught him, a sadistic laugh bubbling to his lips as he lowered him to the ground. Nonchalantly he dropped him the last few inches, the heavy thud snapping Ventus out of his stupor, causing him to scream in absolute shock. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks as he became hysterical.

"Relax, you idiot," Vanitas laughed, shaking off the entire situation with a mocking demeanor.

"But- But you just-!"

"I erased all of his memories of me and replaced them with some false ones, simple as that. What we just talked about is completely wiped from his mind, which pretty much makes the last half-hour completely pointless. He's either sleeping or he just had a heart attack."

"Heart attack?" Ventus screamed, falling to his knees beside his father as he lifted the man's arm. He shakily pressed his finger against the man's wrist, whimpering in relief as a slow, steady pulse coursed through his touch.

"This is _so _entertaining," Vanitas drawled, moving to Ventus' bed to take a seat.

"You…," Ventus whispered, his father's hand falling out of his loose grip as he turned towards the demon. "You cruel, heartless bastard!"

"You wound me."

"Go to hell!" he cried out, shaking in his kneeling position beside his father.

"C'mon, Ventus," Vanitas said, tilting his head mockingly. "You think he loved you if he locked you in your room with me for two straight years?"

"He didn't know… He meant well," the blond whispered, anger dissipating instantly.

"He thought you were crazy." Vanitas hummed slightly, as if considering the unconscious man lying on the floor. "Actually, he still does."

"I'm not crazy," Ventus whispered, mind blank as he stared out of the open window and into the vast abyss of night.

"You are in terms of your mental state," Vanitas sang, swinging his legs to accentuate every word. "You went bonkers two years ago on Monday."

"Shut up," Ventus hissed, turning a hateful glare to the raven. "Shut up _right now._"

Vanitas could only laugh at the blond's anger. "What are you going to do," he asked, chuckling, "hurt me?"

"I'll try," he whispered, shakily standing.

"You know what? I'll give you a bit of an advantage and make myself human," he laughed, slowly losing his demon attributes as Ventus blinked at him with a hate-filled glare. "Alright," he hummed, blinking up at the blond under his eyelashes. "Give me your best shot."

Ventus flew forward, tackling the raven to the bed as he straddled him, hands curling into fists as he aimed punches at his face. He may have been cowardly and weak, but the adrenaline coursing through his veins was enough to jolt strength into his muscles. He knew enough from his recent lessons with Terra on fighting and self-defense to be able to hold himself in a fight for at least two minutes.

Vanitas was slightly shocked by the blond's sudden actions and soon he found himself attempting to fend him off. Despite the small hits that made contact with his cheeks or his nose, he felt absolutely no pain and blamed the lingering venom in his veins for the lack of feeling. He grabbed the blond's left wrist, not at all fazing him as Ventus continued aiming punches higher to his temples in fruitless attempts to knock him unconscious. The flurry still continued to hail down on him.

The blond was panting, as was Vanitas; face flushed red as he struggled against the hand that restrained his own. "Let go of me," he growled, jerking his fist wildly to uncurl the fingers that were tightly around it. However, the raven merely tightened his grip on his wrist, enjoying the unfamiliar thrill the fight was sparking in him.

"I'd rather not," he countered, suddenly hovering above him. Ventus panicked as he felt Vanitas pin both of his hands to his bed, face littered with small blossoming bruises that were quickly fading away as soon as they appeared. "You've got quite the right hook," he whispered, leaning down sardonically into the blond's face. In his desperation, Ventus sharply brought his knee between the boy's legs, causing the raven to fly off and cry out in pain. "What the hell was that?" he screamed, writhing slightly on the ground until the pain quickly faded into a dull ache.

"Shut up!" Ventus screamed, aiming a fully charged kick into the raven's side. "I'm tired of hearing you!" With a grunt Vanitas' hand shot out, wrapping tightly around his supporting ankle and causing the blond to cry out in surprise as he tumbled to the floor, groaning as his back met the hard carpet, knocking all breath out of his lungs. Vainly, he attempted to crawl away, but the pain in his back was too much as the demon advanced on him.

The raven climbed onto him, making sure to sit on his legs to restrain from any thrashing that could possibly catch him off guard again. He laughed, first beginning with a small mirthless chuckle and soon led into a deranged laugh as he stared down at the blond.

"You bruised me," he whispered, lifting his shirt to show that there was indeed a purple mark already forming on his side, "and that fucking hurt." The glare that was simply radiating anger frightened Ventus, but the adrenaline that was pulsing through him allowed his to persevere and sharply bring his already-formed fist towards Vanitas' face. The demon, however, caught the fist, fingers digging hard into his knuckles and causing him to cry out. The joints of his fingers were harshly pressed into each other and he desperately attempted to throw his other fist, whimpering when Vanitas caught it as well.

"No…" he whispered, struggling under the raven as his hands wrapped painfully tight around his wrists. All previous adrenaline drained from him and he fell limp, exhausted from the fight he had with the demon. Vanitas merely ignored him, slamming both wrists on either side of his head as he leaned down, a small smirk playing onto his lips.

"Not too shabby," he whispered, staring down at the blond with hazy, lust-filled eyes. His lips crashed down onto Ventus', a harsh kiss that demanded reciprocation. Ventus lightly pressed back, fully aware that his father could wake up at any moment and catch the two of them. The thrill of it was addicting, but when he realized just who he was kissing, he pulled away slightly.

"My dad's going to wake up," he muttered, lamely attempting to discourage the raven. However, he could feel his arousal touching him and knew that Vanitas would not willingly move. It was then that he desperately glanced at the alarm clock on his night stand and snapped his attention back to the raven, who was frantically kissing down his neck. "Just a few minutes to midnight," he choked out, back arching slightly as Vanitas' tongue touched the underside of his ear.

Vanitas' head snapped to the clock to confirm that the statement was really correct, and he grumbled, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Ventus' neck for a moment before he pulled away to stand. Slowly his wings snapped back into place and he stared down at the blond's father, who still had not moved. Ventus glared up at him, hissing, "Go put him in bed, you did this to him."

Vanitas childishly bared his fangs at him; however, he slung the man over his shoulders easily, glaring at Ventus before vanishing in a flash of light. It was then that he realized, with shock washing over his body, that he had overpowered his demon. It may have not been enough to hold him back, but it was enough to make a confident feeling rise in his throat. However, it died down as Vanitas' words replayed in his mind.

His father really thought that he was insane?

* * *

_A/n: THERE. 10 PAGES. HAPPY?  
__Don't forget to drop me a review if anything seems unclear. However, if it will be explained in the next chapter, for the sake of no spoilers, I'll just tell you that!  
__Now I'm off to write a Roxas/Ventus twincest… I'm not really a fan. D: Oh noes…_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/n: Hope you guys missed me. I missed you, so I brought you guys 12,000+ words.  
__Thanks for the support, guys. Sorry I haven't updated in so fucking long. I'll keep this short.  
__By the way, sorry MeeShee, I couldn't wait. I've changed a few things in the story: Axel's relationship with his human (he doesn't protect her, he's actually assigned to kill her) and the Harpy criteria (they're now skilled in different specific elements of magic).  
__Fun Fact: The Demon Realm consists of all the worlds in Kingdom Hearts and some Final Fantasy games (for example, the 'barren lands' are the Badlands/Keyblade Graveyard).  
__Beta'd by: Hold on hero, an awesome person full of awesomeness *brofist*  
__Song of the Chapter: "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons  
__Warning: Various characters from different Final Fantasy games, and spoilers for Lightning's (of Final Fantasy XIII) real name. Oh, and Roxas/Sora isn't a pairing in the story, sorry. The focus is Vanitas/Ventus.  
__Quick disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy characters or places from here on out, they belong to Square Enix and their designers._

* * *

_Lygophobia_

_Chapter 5_

* * *

Opening his eyes, Ventus was met with a flash of light. Without hesitation, he clenched them shut, groaning at the migraine that pulsed in the back of his head. Trying a second time, his lids cracked open, wary of the light that would invade his senses once again.

It was then he noticed that it was not a light that had been so blinding, but the walls themselves. With a widening of his eyes, his brain registered the characteristics of the wall directly in front of him. Tiles-no, _cushions-_were sewn carefully onto the vertical surface, a blinding white shade. Slowly, his eyes trailed up the white fabric, vaguely noting that the ceiling was nearly ten feet above his head.

The throbbing in the back of his head continued and he had the sudden urge to touch it… just to check if he had been bleeding. The unknown substance trickling through his hair was just a _bit_ too hard to ignore. However, when he attempted to move his arm, he found it held firmly against his chest.

_Odd…_

Lazily, his eyes traveled to his chest, and immediately whatever hazy, groggy thoughts he had in his mind were lost as his heart skipped a beat.

Bindings… there were white bindings trapping his arms to his chest. He knew immediately what it was that withheld them. Choking on the shaky breath that rose in his throat, his eyes whipped around his surroundings again. White walls, white ceiling, no windows, fluorescent lights high above him, no door in sight. _No door_... _No__exit_…

Leaning back onto the soft wall he was propped against, he began hyperventilating, blinking owlishly at the _brightness._ Somewhat calming his nerves, he frantically moved to his feet, relying heavily on the wall due to the lack of use of his arms.

He pressed his face against the wall, inhaling the thick, musty, cotton fabric in puffs. He squirmed against the surface, squeaks escaping his parted lips as he desperately attempted to make any sort of change to the straitjacket wrapped so tightly around his torso and arms. With a grunt, he fell to the floor, all air escaping his lungs as he lay motionless on his back, staring up into the haunting bright lights high above him.

_Around thirteen feet from where his head was…_

He writhed pathetically against the cushioned floor, nearly suffocating himself as he shoved his face into the bouncy fabric of each raised square. "No…," he whispered against the cotton, lifting his mouth for breath by pressing his throbbing forehead against the fabric. "This isn't happening…"

"Yes it is," a voice sang, causing a tremor to travel down his spine as his head jolted to his left. There, standing in the corner of the room, presence a black stain against the white wall, was an unfamiliar person, gold eyes dancing with amusement. "This is one of your greatest fears, right, Ven?"

"Who… Who are you?" he whispered, rolling onto his back before pulling himself to a sitting position. He stared up at the mysterious person who had a black sweatshirt covering his or her small frame, thick hood pulled over their face to shield it from view. The only thing visible in the darkness of his or her shadowed face was the glowing of their yellow eyes. From the bagginess of their clothing, it was difficult to distinguish their gender. "That isn't important right now," the person huffed, waving off his question with the wave of his or her own hand.

"What are you here for, then? What's going on?" Ventus demanded, pulling his knees to his chest, frowning when they touched his arms. '_Right,_'he thought glumly, '_the straitjacket._'

"Well, Ven," the person hummed, pushing away from the wall to pace the perimeter of the room, "it's basically my job that has me here. I'm pretty sure you have a good idea who, or at least _what_, I am, right? You know someone named Vanitas?"

As Ventus searched his mind for that name, _so familiar_, he could not produce a single image or trace. "W-who?"

The person slowed their pacing, eyes turning to him beneath the dark hood. "You don't know… Wait, do I have the right person? Crap." Rushing over to him, the mysterious hooded person keeled beside him, causing him to jerk away in fear. The gold eyes shrouded in darkness narrowed thoughtfully, and two pale hands tightly cupped both sides of his face.

"What… what are you doing?" Ventus squeaked, voice muffled as his face was suddenly shoved into the thick, black cotton of the person's hooded sweatshirt. In response, the person tilted his head forward, examining various angles of his face. "You'd think he'd leave some sort of nametag to help me out. God, if you're the wrong person, I am _so _sorry."

"What…?"

"What's your name?" the person asked, tilting his head forward to press his face into their shoulder once again. Just when he was about to protest, he felt fingers under the hem of the straitjacket, pulling the tight fabric away from his skin, making the collar press uncomfortably against his neck. He squirmed slightly, struggling against the strong grip on his shoulder that held him into place.

"Ventus Highwind…" he muttered, struggling against the person a bit more desperately.

"Stop squirming," the person grunted, sharp fingernails digging into his shoulder, "you're lucky that I'm not allowed to murder you in your dreams."

Ventus' eyes grew wide and he ceased his movement. "I'm… dreaming?"

The person merely ignored his question, nearly shouting, "Aha!" when they peered down at the bare skin of his back, fingers slipping out of the straitjacket once again. "He _did _mark you!"

"So… I can control this dream, or something?" he asked, only to be drowned out by the person's ramblings.

"I knew he would have done something like that, but _man_, am I impressed. Your whole back's marked up, makes me wonder what state the rest of your body's in! I can't believe-Oh! Look, I think I might have hit you a bit too hard!" A finger pressed into the back of his head and he cried out, wincing as pain shot through his head.

"You're bleeding?" the person asked, withdrawing their finger from the blond spikes of his hair. "Yeah," they muttered nonchalantly, "you're bleeding."

"What…?" Suddenly, the person was in the corner of the room, once again a dark blemish in the pristine, white room. Their yellow eyes were narrowed slightly, and soon Ventus found himself groveling on the cushioned floor in pain as the person disappeared in a flash. "This isn't real…" he whispered, wincing at the nonexistent flames that were licking at the skin beneath his straitjacket. "This isn't real… this isn't…"

"This is my dream, Ven," the voice whispered, and, as his eyes shot around the entire room, he could not find a single trace of the person. However, as the voice spoke again, it felt as if it was right against his ear and he jumped back in fear. "You can't do a thing to save yourself. I control you and everything else in here."

Suddenly the pain stopped, and, when he cracked open his eyes, expecting to find his room, he was met with the same white walls of the padded room. A laugh bubbled to his lips, a strange, humorous laugh that escalated into a near scream. He rolled around on the padded floor, giggling and wildly kicking his legs.

He did not understand the sudden attack, but the feeling was overwhelming. His head tingled with the laugh, his limbs moving in their confined spaces along with every jolt of his lungs. A sudden idea popped into his mind, and, as realization dawned onto him, his laughing grew wilder.

_He was insane._ His deepest fear had come true. Caged in the padded walls of confinement, the silence plagued him, but the laughter would not cease.

"Vanitas?" he giggled, gasping for breath on the floor. He rolled onto his stomach, giggling once more as he buried his face into the fabric. "If only I _could _forget that name…"

* * *

Shakily, Ventus descended the staircase, turning mechanically into the kitchen where both his parents were. The sounds of porcelain mugs hitting the wood of the dining table snapped him out of his stupor and he quickly scurried into the room and into the seat across from his father at the table. Beside his father, his mother was sipping quietly at her coffee, hair done neatly in a bun and business suit crisp and clean. His father was in the same shape, but the lit cigarette between his lips took away the business-like quality of his pilot suit.

"Ventus." His father gruffly acknowledged him around his cigarette, smoke escaping his mouth as he did so. Nodding in his direction, the small blond closed his mouth and held his breath to avoid inhaling the smoke.

"Cid," his mother sighed, shooting the man a look behind her glasses, "would you put out your cigarette at the breakfast table? It smells terrible, and I'd like my oxygen back, if you don't mind."

"This coffee is shit," he countered, glaring at her out of the corner of his narrowed eyes.

"You made it, dear."

"Shut up, Shera," he groaned, a small smirk quirking his lips.

Ventus watched the two interact in silence, vaguely wondering how the two could possibly act so lighthearted with him, their burden, sitting just before them. A sickening feeling rose in his throat-he was their _burden_. Abruptly, he lost his appetite, and, with a grimace, he pushed himself away from the table.

"Where are you going, Ven?" his mother asked, a small twinge of concern in her voice. Ventus trailed his eyes to her, noticing the slight narrowing of his father's eyes. He paled significantly and inhaled a shaky breath.

"I forgot I told Aqua and Terra I would meet up with them at school early for tutoring." He was lying through his teeth, but the rage radiating from his father was burning through his skin and causing him mental anguish.

"Oh," his mother said, her tone quiet, nearly silent, hinting at her disappointment. "Alright…"

As quickly as possible, Ventus slipped out of the room, not once the feeling of the glare on his back leaving him. He grabbed his backpack off the bottom of the staircase before he nearly sprinted to the front door. He heard his father say something to his mother, but he did not care to listen to what was said exactly. Judging from the calm tone in his father's voice, he must have been speaking about flying to somewhere, possibly across the country, possibly not returning until another day.

He hardly spared the dining room a second glance before he opened the door, not once exhaling until it had closed softly behind him.

Shakily he let out the breath he had been holding in his lungs, shutting his eyes firmly as his grip on the shoulder strap of his backpack clenched tightly around it. His heart was racing as it dropped, as if it were lead, deep into the bottom of his chest.

"He doesn't remember," he whispered to himself, heart beating erratically as the corners of his eyes stung from the tears that sprung forth from the thought itself. "And Vanitas probably put some sort of horrible lie into his head…" He quickly rubbed at his eyes, attempting to eradicate the fluid that was threatening to fall. Shakily he inhaled, biting his bottom lip harshly as he pushed away from his leaning position against the front door, slowly shuffling down the walkway to the sidewalk at the end of his yard.

Inhaling unevenly once again, he could not help but allow a fleeting thought in his mind tell him that all hope was absolutely lost.

* * *

"You're Vanitas, right?"

Inclining his head in acknowledgement towards the person that had spoken, Vanitas blinked up at an unfamiliar set of golden eyes. As he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, the person merely stared at him expectantly. Receiving no response from the confused demon, they squeaked out, "I'm Xion, remember? Shadow Newborn that developed early?"

Vanitas blinked once again, and then let a drawn out 'Oh' escape his lips as he rolled onto his side in his uncomfortable position on the cliff overlooking a steep, rocky gorge. "You're the one that hangs around Roxas, right? That idiot of a Radiant?"

If she was at all offended by his obvious insult to her friend, she suppressed it as she sang, "Xemnas is lookin' for ya!" before turning on her heels and walking away.

Following her departure, Vanitas sat, listening carefully to her retreating footsteps. He groaned, stretching his arms high above his head and flexing the bones in his wings before rolling to his feet. He rolled his eyes before shoving his hands into his pockets, whistling an unnamed song as he strolled out of the silent plateau.

The barren land soon melted into a more modernized area, the hustle and bustle of the city he had stepped into merely background noise. The dark, paved roads were currently littered with some of the demons that had returned for the meeting, some entering the stores that were advertised with neon signs or other local businesses.

After a short trek passed the busy downtown, the demons thinned out to only a few scattered about as he reached a looming skyscraper. The song he was whistling faded off into oblivion and he could only sigh as he ascended the steps to the door. Opening the door, he was met with a business-like air that nearly made him gag at the sheer responsibility it was shoving down his throat and into his lungs.

The secretary, a replacement of the underlings that had been stationed there previously, glanced up at him with a meek, golden gaze. Vanitas could not help but to blink down at the demon, stunned only slightly before a smirk crawled across his features. The demon squeaked and stuttered out, "Y-your ap-p-pointment with Xemnas, you'll be late!"

"A Black Mage playing secretary?" Vanitas loomed over the mage, a goofy grin soon splitting his features. "That's low, even for you, Vivi."

"D-Don't be mean! It's an assignment!" the young mage squeaked, pounding his gloved fists onto the counter that separated the two of them. "You know the consequences if you're late!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Vanitas rolled his eyes at the small demon, waving his hand at him dismissively. "You sound like a broken record." With that he turned, walking away from the mage towards the elevators located across the room. The bright linoleum floor was nearly blinding as he stood before the closed elevator doors, a low groan escaping his parted lips as he shielded his eyes from the light reflecting off both surfaces. As the bell chimed in his ears, he uncovered his eyes, brushing passed one of the demons that exited the small space.

Pushing the button for the highest possible floor, which was the twentieth floor, his eyes caught movement beyond the quickly closing doors. The female reached the elevator in no time, panting hard as she entered it and pushed the button for the seventeenth floor.

Vanitas stared at her disinterestedly as she leaned against the metal wall, one hand on her chest as she struggled to regulate her breathing. "What're you going to see Xemnas for?" she asked, blinking over at him, voice slightly strained but still recovering. He noticed that both of her eyes were different, one green while the other was blue, and raised an eyebrow slightly. However, he decided not to ignore her as he mumbled, "Dunno."

"Hey, you're Vanitas, right?" she asked. "The Shadow that's had the human for two years now?"

He scoffed and immediately decided he was not all too fond of the female. "What of it?" he hissed lowly.

A small smile fleeted across her lips. "No need to be defensive. I was just going to say that it's nice to know you're not quick to, y'know, become a Neoshadow."

He could not help but wince. He hated the thought of becoming a Neoshadow. The act to graduate was brutal and harsh and-why was he so against it?

"Are you friends with your human? I've only met one human, and I swear, I think I could fall for him." She pressed her hand to her chest once again, the place where her "heart" would have been if she, herself, had been human. What rested beneath her touch was every demon's life source, what made them immortal, which thumped life through every limb. He stared over at her strangely, wondering why the hell she would share that information with him. However, a thought crossed through his mind, asking _'Could a demon truly love a human? Why would they?'_

"I… guess," he muttered, eyes trailing back to the reflective surface of the elevator. His eyes fixed themselves on the glare of the fluorescent lights above them and faintly he could hear the music flooding the small compartment.

"'I _guess_'? If you've kept your human alive that long, you've got to have some sort of bond with him or her!"

Why was everyone asking so many questions lately?

"I suppose so… I'm pretty sure he hates me, but then again…" The kisses, the moans, the screams… everything flooded into his mind and he could not help but doubt his statement. Something fluttered deep inside him and he vaguely questioned what the hell it was supposed to mean.

A bell once again chimed in his ear and he turned to her, watching her critically as she walked through the doors. However, she abruptly stopped mid-stride, inclining her head to look at him. "I'm Yuna by the way, Summoner." She waved him goodbye and the doors soon slid to a close behind her.

He blinked at the metal, wondering why she had bothered holding such a strange conversation with him before his eyes grew wide.

_Was she a spy? _

The bell snapped him out of his paranoid thoughts as the doors once again opened. The foreboding hallway stretched out before him sent a bad feeling to the pit of his stomach, but he pushed down the small hint of fear for the worse as he exited the elevator.

The trek down the hallway was short, but with each silent step that echoed in the empty floor, the feeling in his stomach grew more and more strong. He mentally cursed himself for being so fidgety. He had absolutely no reason to be afraid of Xemnas, no matter if he was a Neoshadow _or_ an Elder.

Soon, he found himself standing before a single door with a glass pane embedded into it that blurred everything inside of the Elder's office and he thickly swallowed around the nervous lump in his throat. Before he could raise his hand to knock on the door, a deep voice from within the room said, "Enter, Vanitas."

Nervously, he complied, turning the handle and pushing open the door. As he poked his head inside, Xemnas stared at him disinterestedly, causing the Shadow to roll his eyes and push open the door completely to allow himself inside. He crossed the room wordlessly, all the while Xemnas' gaze never leaving him. As he seated himself in the new folding chair placed before the Leader's desk in replacement of the leather chair he had previously ruined, he grinned unabashedly up at the demon, all previous nervousness having dissipated.

"You are probably wondering why I have summoned you once again in such short notice-" Vanitas nodded "-but I'm sure you have an idea what this is about."

Vanitas hummed thoughtfully before shifting in the chair. "Jury duty?"

"No."

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"No."

"Did you need me to set you up on a date? I knew you were lonely."

"No," Xemnas growled, an annoyed tone evident in his voice. "You have an assignment, actually."

"What do I have to do?" Vanitas asked, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated fashion.

"Because you've been especially annoying lately, I've decided to have you sort through all of the old records and update them with the new information we've collected through the census."

"…What?" Vanitas was appalled; he did not want to do so much work! "But-! But what about _your_ demons?"

Ignoring his last statement, the Elder said, "And you will have to do it in your human form because I don't want your claws ripping up my important documents."

"You have to be kidding me!" Vanitas nearly shouted eyes wide and staring up at the Neoshadow before him.

Xemnas chuckled lightly, "I do not kid, Vanitas. Go get to work; the record room is on the fifteenth floor."

Vanitas pouted. "What room?"

"It's the entire floor."

"Oh, God damn it."

* * *

Ventus leaned against his locker, expression betraying no emotion as he clutched the straps of his backpack in his hands. The hallway was deathly silent, and each breath that spilled from his lips seemed to echo in the walls of the school. It was then he heard footsteps, his head shooting to his left, heart already beating erratically in anticipation of anything. However, he visibly relaxed when the sight of his cerulean-haired friend moved into his line of sight entering the building.

She met his gaze, a smile splitting her features as she waved to him. Her lips curled as her eyes nearly closed, and, deep inside him, Ventus knew he could not doubt that this was not a forced smile. A grin spread across his face as he ran to her, stopping before her and staring up at her in anticipation. She may have only been absent for a day, but, to the small blond, it felt like eternity.

"Hi, Ven," she smiled, staring down at the blond before ruffling his hair playfully. However, with this action, she was slightly hesitant, but he made no attempt to move her away nor did he show any negative reaction, which in turn reassured her that it was alright.

"Hi, Aqua! Where were you yesterday? Terra and I missed you!" He was getting excited and buoyant and cheerful and it was nearly frightening him. What happened to his depression? Where were his gloomy thoughts? He had every reason to be upset-to be miserable, even-and yet here he was, acting as if nothing in the world bothered him. As if his father did not think he was insane. As if there wasn't a demon that haunted his every dream and made his life both heaven and a living hell.

"Oh, you know," she drawled, "this and that. I had a lot to take care of. Besides, I had a report due yesterday, so I felt I needed an extra day to finish it." At this he laughed, a small chuckled, a bubbling in his throat that deeply disturbed him. Something was wrong, something _had _to be wrong.

Aqua did not seem to notice as she motioned for him to follow her as she walked around him. "I have to go drop it off right now, anyway. Want to tag along?"

To this, he could only nod, turning on his heels so he could fall into step beside her. Silently he listened as she described the topic for her paper, thoughts pondering what his sudden onslaught of happiness could have been caused by.

Was it the dream?

"And the conclusion is basically-Ven, watch out!"

It was not much of a forewarning, he thought in hindsight, as he collided with someone. He fell into Aqua's arms with a surprised shout, his assailant being knocked to the floor with a squeak. Anger surged through him and he growled, "Hey, watch where you're-" before his voice died completely in his throat. There, sitting on the linoleum floor, was a familiar head of hair, one that invoked fear in his very core. "Vani-" he whispered, choking on the name when he noticed the person had raised their head, piercing blue eyes boring into him. He could feel Aqua tense, and the small action confused him.

There was silence, the mysterious person's companion was standing beside him awkwardly, hand outstretched to the boy that refused to take it. He only stared up at him, their widened gazes locking. "Roxas…?" the boy squeaked, and Ventus' lips parted in confusion. This boy was strikingly similar to Vanitas, even his voice, although innocent, had the underlying sound that reminded him so much of the Shadow. But, this could not be him. Vanitas could not risk being in the presence of humans, not even for Ventus. Not even in his human form.

"I'm not-"

"See, Riku?" the brunet boy said to his friend, his voice coated in some sickening hopefulness that wrenched Ventus' heart. "I'm not crazy… Roxas is real…"

"I'm not…" he repeated, staring down at the boy who was being pulled to his feet by Riku. Aqua's arms were still tense around him, and he could not understand why. Sure, this boy was strange, but it was no reason to feel anxious or nervous.

"You didn't believe me, Riku. Neither did Kairi… But I _was _telling the truth," the boy continued, clinging to his silver-haired friend's arm almost desperately.

"Sora," Riku growled, "knock it off. His name is Ventus."

_How did he know that?_

Sora turned to him, piercing blue eyes holding a determined shine. "I don't believe that. It can't just be a coincidence."

"I'm serious, Sora."

"Riku!" the small brunet nearly pleaded. "You don't underst-"

"I'm not Roxas…" Ventus finally whispered, watching with a pain in his chest as the brunet's cerulean eyes dulled almost instantaneously. There was a heartbroken gleam somewhere in the sea of blue, and it tore at the blond's heart to see that. To see hope die.

Just like it had for him two years ago.

"H-How?" the brunet squeaked, the teenager beside him growling impatiently. A hand wrapped around his upper bicep, but he shook it off, glancing over at Riku almost dismissively before his gaze returned to Ventus.

"Let's _go, _Sora," Riku bit out, voice impatient.

"Just leave me behind, Riku. I'll go catch up with you later," Sora muttered, gaze never leaving Ventus, shifting only when Aqua helped him right himself."Whatever," Riku growled, walking away with heavy footfalls, brushing passed Ventus with a glare. The blond returned the gaze with a look of confusion, confused as to why this was all happening. Confused as to what he could have done wrong.

"I have to go drop off my paper," Aqua hurriedly said, sweeping away from Ventus as well. Soon, he found himself alone with the brunet, a small nervousness welling in him.

"I'm not Roxas," Ventus repeated. "I don't know who he is, I'm just Ventus Highwind."

"Then why do you look like him?" Sora asked hesitantly, voice showing his slight nervousness, showing how unsure he had become of the situation.

"I have no idea… but you look like someone… like someone I know." Ventus hadn't the slightest idea why he was mentioning Vanitas to him, but something about the brunet… he felt he could tell him, felt he could finally tell someone.

"Who?"

"Someone named Vanitas," Ventus muttered, glancing away from the brunet, feeling self-conscious about mentioning the Shadow after all. Any comfort he had with Sora had dissipated. If he had kept his eyes trained on said boy, he would have noticed that Sora's eyes had widened considerably and his lips parted silently at the name.

"V-Vanitas?" he stuttered, and Ventus' eyes snapped to him critically. Sora weighed the blond's reaction before he continued. "Roxas actually mentioned someone named Vanitas yesterday… he said that he wasn't a nice guy and that he looked just like me…" Ventus could not believe what he was hearing. "He also said that he was a Shadow and that his human must have been really messed up or something, from what he was hearing…" He chuckled nervously. "I guess that would be you…"

"Sora," Ventus whispered, knees slightly wobbly beneath his weight, "just who is Roxas?"

A small smile touched Sora's lips. "He's a Radiant, but sometimes I like calling him my guardian angel."

"A Radiant," Ventus mumbled thoughtfully, "is that a demon?"

"I'd hardly say he was a demon. He's way too nice to be a demon."

"Then… Then what is he, exactly?"

"He's-" the morning bell rang, cutting whatever Sora was going to say short. Ventus stared at him critically as the hallway flooded with students rushing to their class. "I'll see you at lunch," the brunet said, disappearing into the crowd, leaving Ventus in the sea of people, completely speechless.

* * *

Vanitas flipped a dusty switch on, fluorescent lights above his head sputtering to life. He threw his arm across his forehead, his sensitive golden eyes not used to any sort of light source, artificial or real. "I hate this," he whispered as he lowered his arm, eyes taking in the sight of a cluttered room filled with files upon files and the occasional stack of paper strewn about. The room had to be at least ten times the size of Xemnas' office, which, when he thought it over, was ridiculously large within itself.

He sighed, falling to his knees beside a filing cabinet, pulling the crate that was sitting beside it full of papers in a close position beside him. He silently thanked whichever demon had made his life easier by, at the least, placing crates of files relative to the alphabetical range and specie of each filing cabinet together.

He pulled open one of the drawers, immediately sneezing as he inhaled the cloud of dust that burst in his face. His previously unused lungs gave violent spasms with each sneeze. He threw his head back, inhaling desperately the clean air that hung behind him. With a sigh, he halted the sneezing, blinking in slight annoyance at the dust particles as they floated leisurely to the ceiling.

"I hate you," he growled, before diving back down into the filing cabinet. He grabbed the first few papers, scanning over the pages to determine which file it belonged in. He stopped mid-scan over the last page, glaring at the name that was printed onto the paper.

"How the hell am I supposed to file something when the person doesn't have a last name?" he nearly shouted, disbelief evident in his voice. How could he accomplish _anything_ when someone did not have a damn last name to sort by? Or, he concluded, the files could be filed by first names… "I'll just make two piles, one that has people with last names, and the other that doesn't." He was so proud of himself for thinking of such a system.

"Larxene… No last name," he hummed, placing the paper face-down onto the ground to his right. "Claire 'Lightning'-oh, how original-Farron has a last name… Well obviously I've found the Harpy file…"

Slyly glancing around the empty room, he fingered through the files before coming across Larxene's file, smirking down at the information. "600 years old, eh? I knew she was old." The picture of the Harpy stared up at him, expression much more kind than the Larxene he knew now. In the picture, her emerald eyes held happiness, exuberance, and yet there was an underlying mischievous-almost evil-glint hidden in the glowing irises. "Now she's just a bitter old woman."

Disinterestedly, he skimmed through the rest of the pages, filing them when he found no intriguing information on her. He thumbed through the files in the crate, whispering the names to himself once again as he began placing them in the piles he had created. "Paine, no last name… Cissnei, no last name…" He rolled his eyes as his shoulders slumped, and he continued filing the Harpies, finding no one else he knew.

Once he finished, he shuffled across the room on his knees with a small sigh, sitting before another filing cabinet that seemed promising with its thick packets in the crates beside it. He grabbed one of the packets, leafing through it before his eyes lit up. "Aah," he grinned, "Axel."

Sitting cross-legged, he engrossed himself in the information on his friend, finding the small facts about the Assassin's current human-among many-only mildly interesting. She was an artist, and she was seemingly of no importance. There was a picture of her beside her name, and he glanced at it disinterestedly. Her blonde hair and blue eyes were nothing special (actually average, in his opinion), but there was a slight hint of innocence in them, a trait he had not seen in two years.

Her eyes were bright and lively, Ventus' were full of fear and hate, as well as a dullness that came only from hopelessness. Something in his chest dropped slightly with that thought and he frowned. What the hell was that?

However, before he could continue flipping through the pages, he stumbled across a small paragraph towards the bottom of the girl's information, his eyes widening only a fraction.

"Damn," he whistled, rereading the paragraph once again, "exposing the demon world? No wonder she's supposed to be assassinated before she can even think of telling anyone…" He then shoved the packet into Axel's already thick manila folder.

"Lazy-ass Reno, his file is barely a fraction of a centimeter thick," he whispered after pulling out another file at random, noticing-with glee-that he was familiar with this person. "He's probably killed, like, four people," he skimmed over the summary of kills the Assassin had. "Oh, let me correct myself. Four and a _half_, counting the person he paralyzed from the waist-down. Dumbass." The raven laughed mockingly and replaced the file in the crate. Glancing down at the rest of the packets in need of filing, he nonchalantly brushed them off, deciding to come back to them later.

Vanitas continued filing grudgingly, finding the copious amounts of information on anyone and everyone not enough to satisfy his boredom. Every few or so papers, he would come across another person he knew, but he would only skim the facts on whoever, tossing the pages into their files when he found nothing of interest.

While filing through the stacked crates belonging to the Summoners, he stumbled across the name of the woman he had met just earlier in the elevator. Feeling slightly awkward, he pulled out the file, flipping it open. The first page held her picture, and he noticed that each eye indeed held a different shade of color. One an emerald green while the other was a cerulean blue, both familiar shades all on their own. He glanced down her information, his thumb playing with the staple in the top left corner of the small stack of pages.

She was an expert in rank, and her favorite aeons-special breeds of demons created especially for the use of Summoners-were Valefor, a flying aeon, Ifrit, a frightening aeon engulfed in flames, Shiva, an ice aeon that took the form of a human woman, and Ixion, an aeon that resembled the mythical unicorn, and was made of pure lightning.

Nothing about being a spy, nothing about her working exclusively for Xemnas or any other Elder for that matter…

And definitely nothing about her being involved with a human.

Vanitas threw the file into the crate violently and moved across the cluttered room once again, sitting before another filing cabinet in the farthest from the door. The somewhat unfamiliar feeling of his human heart was hammering in his chest as anger coursed through him. His limbs were shaking and he quickly gritted his teeth to calm himself. He closed his eyes silently, his hand coming to rest over the thumping beneath his left pectoral, feeling the temporary organ flutter angrily beneath his touch.

However, as he began thinking over the conversation he had had with the strange Summoner, analyzing all that she had said, he came to the conclusion that she must have been one of those hopeless romantics that most females were nowadays, like Larxene always complained about. This Summoner had no idea what she was talking about, she did not know him, nor did she know Ventus.

Beneath his hand, his heart calmed, and his eyebrows knit together in confusion. He shook off the strange feeling in his chest and decided he had to get back to work.

In the crate beside him, he noticed it held a familiar name on the first page, and he quickly began rifling through the papers. Before he could find his file amongst the other Shadows, his fingers fell on a name that belonged to the Shadow Newborn that had been sent to fetch him earlier.

"Xion," he muttered thoughtfully, grabbing the thin packet in both hands almost gingerly, eyes skimming over the information. He turned the page and his eyes grew wide, his mouth falling open in absolute shock. His hands began shaking, his fingers digging into the pages and wrinkling them until they were almost unrecognizable. There, staring back at him, paper clipped to the page, were the exuberant, cheerful eyes he never thought he would see again.

* * *

Ventus once again found himself in the locker room after his weights class, the scene of the mysterious, traumatic event that occurred only the day before. He usually stayed late for this class because he had lunch next, so he was in no hurry to change most of the time, as the majority of his male peers were. However, there was a small paranoid feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he could not help but rush to dress.

The bell rang, and he flinched slightly, nerves in panic as the room emptied. He had no idea if Lea would try anything again, he had absolutely no reason to, but the red head was unpredictable, impulsive. When he heard no further rustling from anyone in the room, he pulled his shirt over his head, breath catching in his throat when it raked the wife beater he wore beneath it up his back.

He was alone; there was nothing to worry about.

"What the hell is that?"

_There was someone still in the room?_

Ventus rounded in his spot before his locker, pulling the white undershirt down his stomach, wide blue eyes meeting the shocked gaze of the teenager that had, in all honesty, attacked him the day before. His lips parted, but he could not make any sound, his voice dying in his throat.

"What is that?" Lea whispered, green eyes showing only his concern.

Ventus' heart was pounding harshly against his ribcage, lungs twitching as each breath ascended into hysterics. No, no, no! No one was _ever _supposed to see them. What he dreaded the most had just occurred and he could not make a sound. He managed a shake of his head as tremors coursed through his hands. Tightly, he gripped his shirt, attempting to still them.

"Ventus," Lea said voice monotone and serious, "there are scars all over your back, and I'm just asking what that was about."

Ventus opened his mouth, but the lie he had fabricated in his mind would not escape his lips. Silently, he closed it, finding the orifice useless.

"It looked like a name…"

"Sh-shit…" he could not believe what was happening… He backed into his locker, breath hitching when the cold touch of the metal seeped through his shirt and onto his skin.

_This can't…_

"I'm just asking, Ven," Lea said, hesitantly taking a step forward before he set himself in motion, propelling himself towards the blond. The red head came to a stop when he was only a small distance away from him, his body still too close for comfort. At the sudden movement, Ventus flinched, his eyes snapping towards the red head's eyes, noticing they held a different look than they had the day before. Before they had been filled with lust… today they were filled with something he rarely saw: concern, concern for _him_.

_This isn't happening…_

"I can't show you," Ventus squeaked, cowering away from the red head's gaze. It was then that Lea's hand roughly grasped his upper bicep, turning the blond and pressing his face into the cold metal of his locker. He gasped lightly before realizing what position he was in, and he struggled in the older teen's grip.

_Stop, I don't want you to know._

"Stop struggling and let me see," Lea ground out, his command sounding much rougher than the purpose of his actions intended them to be. As Ventus shook in his grip, wildly jerking his arms to push off the older teenager, Lea roughly took hold of both of his wrists in one hand, holding them in place in the small of his back as the fingers of his free hand moved to the hem of the blond's wife beater.

_I don't want this to be happening…_

"Let me go!" he squealed, breath hitching in his throat as Lea pushed his shirt up his back, revealing each and every scar.

_Stop! Before you see-_

"Oh, Jesus," Lea whispered, grip growing slack around Ventus' wrists. The blond, however, could not move a single muscle. His entire being had gone into shock, and he would not recover. He tightly shut his eyes, his breathing quickening as he, with every fiber of his being, wished he could die.

_This can't be happening…_

Lea turned him, his eyes never leaving the small teen's torso as his eyes scanned over every line, every mark, of the proof of Vanitas' existence. His name was dug deep into his back, white mark the brightest, the deepest. Lea's expression was pained, eyebrows knitted together, teeth gnashing his lip as he saw the parallel lines of scabs on the boy's stomach that were never healed. "God, Ventus," he finally managed, "who did this to you?"

_This can't… This can't be happening…_

"No one," he whispered, clearly ashamed as he ducked his head down. Lea stared down at the boy that he had turned to face him, a frown on his lips.

_This CANNOT be happening…_

"It's nothing, don't worry about it… I just… I just got scratched by my dog a few too many times."

_Just let it go…_

"That's not from a dog…"

"It's…" _Let it go, let it go, let it go…_

"Ventus, I'm concerned-"

Anger boiled in the small blond and his head shot upwards, a venomous glare in his gaze as he hissed, "No you're not! You don't care! Yesterday you tried to- you tried to-" He choked on his words.

_Leave me alone!_

"You tried to-!" he couldn't finish the statement, the memory too painful. "You don't care, you never will." He ruthlessly shoved the boy backwards, causing him to stumble slightly.

Ventus roughly grabbed his shirt off of the floor, pulling his backpack out of his locker before slamming it shut harshly.

He needed to get out of there.

He walked-nearly ran-to the door of the locker room and halted, turning back to the stunned red head still standing where he had left him, growling, "Leave me alone, I'm tired of you," before running out of the room.

Lea stood there, eyes wide and mouth parted in shock as he whispered to himself, "What the hell is he talking about? What the hell did I do?"

* * *

Vanitas was running the stairs at a breakneck pace, hand barely touching the rail as he bit his lip harshly. In a fit of rage and disbelief, he hadn't the chance to revert to his demon form. He made another turn as he ascended another flight, panting hard as he reached the door to the twentieth floor. He collapsed against it, slowly sinking to the floor as one hand moved to cradle his pounding head.

He coughed into his clenched fist, disgusted by the revolting taste that flooded in his mouth. He shut his eyes tightly, nonexistent colors dancing in his vision as his head thumped against the door. He regretted remaining in his human form, but he had absolutely no time.

"No… time, right."

He struggled to his feet, hand bracing against the door as his legs threatened to give out under him. He had no experience exerting so much energy in this way in his human form, and the side effects had caught him completely off guard. However, he could not change, not when he was so close…

He threw open the door, stumbling through it and into the hallway as his legs wobbled dangerously beneath him. However, as the memory flashed across his mind, he broke into a run, the feeling in his legs fading away to oblivion as he winded through the maze-like hallways, passing by the offices of the other Elders.

Soon, the door was in his sight, and he doubled his speed, bursting through it with no hesitance. He was met with two golden gazes, one surprised while the other looked as indifferent as always.

"Xemnas," Vanitas panted, watching the Elder from the open doorway as said demon stared up at him indifferently from behind his desk. The person sitting across him was the last person he wanted to see, and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Yes, Vanitas? Why are you interrupting our appointment?" Xemnas asked voice flat and monotone as he watched him carefully.

"You… you can't just… I have a month," Vanitas forced out, eyes never leaving the Neoshadow's, "but you… you go ahead… and assign _her_ to _my_ human… behind my back." He glared down to Xion, who was staring at him, her expression showing how nervous she was as she twiddled her thumbs.

"Vanitas, I'm only taking the necessary precautions. At the rate you are going at now, I will never have you as a Neoshadow."

"You can't just pressure me to rip his heart out…"

"Which is where Xion comes in." Xemnas gestured to the girl calmly, ignoring the way her lips parted as her eyebrows twitched slightly.

"It hasn't been that long!" Vanitas whispered, fists clenched at his sides. "It's only been three days…"

"Which is more than enough time to lure him into our realm." Xemnas leaned onto his palm, expression betraying no emotion. "If you do not graduate sooner than later, you never will."

"I have a month!" he repeated, something in his chest sending a pained jolt throughout his veins.

"You can't form bonds with your humans. It will only make things much more complicated."

"Xemnas-!"

"You are dismissed."

"But-!"

Xemnas' eyes narrowed as he repeated darkly, "You are dismissed."

As Vanitas turned to leave, his eyes met Xion's, and he gave her the most venomous glare he could muster before slamming the door shut behind him.

He had to go to Ventus.

* * *

In the silence of the abandoned hallways outside of the gym, Ventus dropped his backpack onto the linoleum floor, pulling on his shirt with a scowl on his lips. As he fixed the clothing to look presentable, he hoisted his backpack once again over one shoulder as he shuffled down the hallway, turning into another that held the lockers for the sophomores.

Reaching his locker, he entered the combination with a shaky hand, his anger having already dissipated in favor of an emotion that was borderline panic. He opened the door, shoving his backpack inside haphazardly. His fingers gripped the metal harshly, the pain flaring in the palm of his hand as the curvature in the hem-like edges of the metal dug into the impressionable skin, marking it with angry, red indentations. He shuddered, biting his bottom lip harshly as he closed the door with a weak hand. It was then he noticed another presence, but he was already too late.

He was pressed harshly against the metal door of his locker, a pair of lips on his and two hands digging into his waist. His eyes were wide, his arms limp at his sides as the all-too-familiar mouth pressed against his harder, demanding for him to do the same.

However, he could not.

Ventus moved his hands to Vanitas' shoulders, pushing him back hesitantly. "Not here," he whispered against his lips, heart hammering in his chest, "not now."

Vanitas' eyes narrowed slightly as he moved his hands to rip the blond's hands off his shoulders, muttering back, "Then let's go somewhere else."

"How can you even be in the light right now?" Ventus asked hesitantly, watching the Shadow as he rolled his eyes.

"I'm in my human form, idiot."

"Why are you here? You can't be here… What if someone-" it was then he remembered about what had occurred earlier that day, and his hands immediately moved to push the raven away once again. "Someone knows."

"Knows what?" Vanitas mumbled, hands gripping the blond's wrists tightly as he leaned to press his mouth against his ear.

With a small, somewhat suppressed whimper, Ventus replied with a clipped, "About you," his voice hitching in his throat. He forced out, "And someone else saw the scars."

He feared an indignant response, an injury, _anything_ that would harm him; instead he received a teasing lick to the shell of his ear that pulled a moan from his lips. The hands he had propped against Vanitas' chest migrated to his shoulders as his mouth traveled further down his neck.

"St-stop, Vanitas," he whispered, shoulder twitching against the raven's head. The Shadow closed the distance between them, pinning the blond to the lockers with his body as he moved to kiss him once again. Ventus moved his head away from him, saying, with a louder, firmer tone, "Someone might see."

"No one will see."

His lips were recaptured by the raven in what felt like a desperate kiss, surprising him with its passion and the fact that he made no move to fight back. His eyes closed as he pressed back lightly, the excitement he had felt the night before of the possibility of being caught surging through his veins. He squeezed his lids tightly as the painful memory flitted into his mind, Vanitas' voice whispering, "_He thought you were crazy… Actually, he still does_."

Ventus dug his fingers into the raven's shoulders as he pulled away once again, whispering, "Not at school… Just… later. I'll let you do what you want later."

Vanitas smirked and stepped back, saying, "I'll hold you to that."

"Why are you here, anyways? You can't show yourself to people, what will someone think if they see you?" Ventus' voice adopted a somewhat panicked tone. Vanitas merely waved him off.

"Does it matter? I just wanted to stop by." Ventus could not help but notice that in Vanitas' gold eyes, a pained look embedded itself. It made the blond's heart twitch in his chest.

Something was amiss.

"Please, Vanitas… Just leave before anyone sees you…"

Vanitas frowned, turning and shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, strolling down the silent hallway and around the corner to an unknown destination. He wore an expression that betrayed no emotion, but the hurt look in his eyes was enough to transfer that feeling into the blond.

He placed his hand over his heart and closed his eyes, leaning against the lockers, praying that the flutter in his chest would die down soon enough.

And Ventus was alone once again.

"Uhh…"

Or so he thought… again.

Ventus jumped and spun around, his eyes wide as they took in the sight of a bashful Sora at the opposite end of the hallway that Vanitas had exited. The petite brunet would not meet his eyes and there was a blush on his cheeks and a nervous air hovering around him. He was innocence personified, and Ventus suddenly felt envious.

"I didn't see you at lunch, so I came looking for you… uhh…"

"How long were you there?" Ventus warily asked, clutching at his chest in an attempt to calm its erratic beating.

"S-So that's Vanitas," Sora stuttered, still slightly flustered after having witnessed the scene before him. "And I kind of came around the part where you… uh… when he said he was in his human form… um…"

Ventus forced out a nervous chuckle as Sora scratched the back of his head, still avoiding the blond's gaze. "Sorry you had to see that, Sora."

"Yeah… Roxas always covered my eyes during dirty parts in movies and stuff to maintain my innocence…" he chuckled as well, a nervous laugh that, like Ventus', held no humor.

"You said something about lunch?" Ventus asked cheerily, bringing the much needed change of topic to their embarrassing conversation. Sora nodded and smiled, gesturing with his head to the direction of the cafeteria.

"I wanted to introduce you to my friends, anyway!" the brunet said, waiting for the blond as he eventually fell into step with him. Sora missed the uneasy look Ventus had given him, and it only made him feel worse.

While they traversed to the cafeteria, there was silence between the two of them, something slightly uncomfortable that they could not find the will to break. However, as they reached the large room, they were met with the collective hum of conversation of the teenagers that occupied it. Ventus hesitatingly followed the brunet as he weaved through crowded tables, finally stopping at one that held a modest amount of people in it.

"Hey, guys," Sora greeted, calling the attention of everyone at the table, "this is Ventus." Said blond could only stand beside the brunet nervously, shifting from foot-to-foot, expecting everyone to stare at him with scrutinizing gazes.

However, he was completely caught off guard as a dirty blond boy sitting by a red headed girl-so familiar-grinned widely and waved enthusiastically. "Hi!" The girl beside him could only smile a small smile as she followed the teen's example by waving as well. The blonde girl that was sitting closest to where they were standing glanced up from her sketch pad, mumbling a quiet greeting with a smile as well.

Ventus glanced around the entire table. This was just too much. Never in his life-no, not after Vanitas-had so many people actually paid attention to him at one time.

"Alright, now I'll introduce everyone!" Sora said, beginning in a counter-clockwise motion from the girl sitting beside the two of them. "That's Naminè; she's always drawing, so she doesn't talk that much." Ventus observed her drawing over her shoulder, noticing that she was drawing a person that looked like a much older Lea, with dark inverted triangle-shaped marks beneath his eyes and longer, spikier hair. He also looked much more masculine, and he vaguely wondered if she was just elaborating what she thought the red head would look like when he was older.

He pointed to the next person, Ventus recognizing him as Sora's companion from earlier. "That's Riku, and next to him is Kairi. Riku's a junior; Kairi's a sophomore like us." And lastly, he pointed to the dirty blond boy that had greeted him first. "That's Myde; he's a junior, like Riku."

Ventus waved, his smile nervous on his mouth. Myde enthusiastically patted the empty seat between him and Naminè, motioning in an exaggerated fashion for him. Hesitantly, Ventus made his way over to him, seating himself down. Almost immediately, Riku stood, abandoning the table in favor of another somewhere in the throng of teenagers.

Sora frowned as he plopped down beside Ventus. "That was rude. I wonder what's up with him."

Kairi crossed her arms over her chest as she said, "I don't know, but he's been acting strange all day. I wonder why."

Ventus stared at the two of them, guilt crossing his features. "Me too…"

* * *

Ventus was standing against his locker with a frown, waiting for his friends, Terra and Aqua, whom usually drove him home after school. He hated depending on the two of them like this, but he hated walking back home more. More people were out and about in the afternoon, it seemed, and he did not enjoy the company of strangers exclusively. It made him much too uncomfortable and almost self-conscious, but then again, when was he not?

He expelled a drawn out sigh from his lungs and leaned against the metal of his locker, back pressed against the chilled element. He remembered a point during the day in which he had been pinned against it, a person that should never be seen by any other human beside himself on his mouth.

He had told himself just that morning: Vanitas won't risk showing himself. He had nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing. No questions, no people becoming nosy and looking into his personal life. But no, once the situation in the locker room had occurred, everything went downhill, and it was as if Vanitas _knew_. As if he knew whenever Ventus was in a situation where nearly everything was on the line and he would come along and make damn sure that whatever was on the line was lost.

What was his problem, popping up like that at his school in his human form? Vanitas knew better, knew that if he was going to show around here that he had to be in his demon form and that time had to be stopped. But, earlier he had not done so, and someone had seen. Albeit the person being Sora, it could have been anyone else, and that thought alone scared Ventus to death. What if it had been Terra or Aqua? What if they had seen his horrible secret?

Well, who said that they would even recognize Vanitas? They could think he was a new student, or they could think he was… No, there are too many differences between the two. Vanitas' aura itself was the exact opposite of the innocent Sora's, and even from far away the two looked completely different. It must have been the golden eyes and the black hair that reassured him, because other than those two dissimilarities, the two looked exactly alike.

His heart fluttered beneath the hand he had placed over it.

Why was he so calm and friendly towards Sora, and could that attitude affect the way he ultimately acted around Vanitas?

No, there was no way it could, he would not allow it. He cannot give Vanitas the wrong idea…

And what was _that,_ exactly?

"Hey, Ven!" Terra's voice greeted, snapping the blond out of his thoughts. Ventus turned to the brunet, giving him a small smile as the senior reached him. "You weren't there at lunch. Where were you? Aqua was really worried."

Ventus chuckled nervously. "I met a few new people, and they invited me to sit at their table… Sorry."

Terra smiled down at him. "You should have told us! We would have understood!"

Ventus chuckled again. "Sorry-"

"Don't be," Terra quickly cut in. "Anyway, do you want to stay the night at my house tonight? We haven't hung out in a while."

Ventus stared up at the brunet, wondering if what he heard was actually what he said. "Huh?"

"Y'know, hang out at my house? It's been years."

"Oh…" A million thoughts ran through his mind, the clearest one being the thought that involved Vanitas. What if he skipped out on one night, the first since he had met the Shadow? What sort of penalty would he receive? He knew that Vanitas would not take his absence lightly, especially after what he had promised him earlier… However, as he glanced up to Terra, mind focused on how many people that he had become acquainted with that day, he answered with: "Okay."

Terra smiled down at him. "Okay, buddy. We'll swing by your house and pick up some clothes for tomorrow and then we'll go over to my house. My dad recently bought a pool table, so maybe we'll have fun playing pool."

Ventus smiled back. "Alright."

Shifting his backpack higher onto the single shoulder it was hanging off of, Ventus followed his older friend, down the steps, across the sidewalk, and into the somewhat nice car he owned. As the blond climbed into the passenger seat, Terra hesitated at the door to the driver's side. "Ven," he muttered, causing said blond to turn to him with a confused gaze.

"Yeah, Terra?"

The brunet climbed into the seat, keys in hands, making no move for the ignition. "Aqua told me about what happened with Sora. She's concerned." Terra stared down at him, eyes expressing a look made of pure concern. One of the numerous ones he had received that day.

"He just… he just mistook me for someone else, is all," Ventus said, a false cheery tone in his voice that Terra saw through.

"It's… it's not a good thing to hang around him, Ven. He's… he's not all there." There was a slight hesitation in the brunet's voice, and Ventus furrowed his eyebrows as the statement settled into his brain.

"Well that's not fair to him. His friends say things like that about him, do you know that? God, you shouldn't judge people, Terra. You don't even know him," Ventus growled, getting much more worked up than he had originally expected himself to react.

Terra shook his head slightly and shoved his key into the ignition. A golden star keychain hung off the ring, a gift that Aqua had given to him. Ventus had an alike item on his own set of house keys, and the sharp points of the ends were digging into the pocket he kept them in. "Yes I do, Ven. I know him a lot more than you think." And with that he ended their conversation, one that could have turned into a horrible argument if Terra had not prevented it from occurring.

Ventus scowled slightly, debating whether or not to call off the plans they had previously made. However, he decided not to, knowing Vanitas would not be stupid enough to track him down at a friend's house. He was safe for a night, and even when he should have brought him some sort of relieved feeling, it did not. His heart twitched in his chest as he turned to stare out the window, the buildings moving sluggishly by due to the slight traffic.

He had come to terms already with the way he felt about the demon, but he was convinced that it was some twisted version of Stockholm syndrome. There was no possible way he could remotely like the Shadow, their relationship was sick and dangerous. However, he could not help the way his heart skipped a beat around Vanitas, the way it fluttered during their kisses that were gentle, and not rough like he was so used to.

A small part of him deep, deep down asked: _Does he feel the same way, too? _It was impossible, and yet the way Vanitas was acting recently had changed significantly. It made the blond confused, and also slightly frightened… What was wrong with the demon?

"Hey, Ven, something on your mind?" Terra asked, breaking their silence. Ventus jumped slightly in his seat, turning his head to the brunet with a somewhat surprised gaze. He simply shook his head, an obvious lie that his friend immediately caught.

"C'mon, you're never _that_ quiet. Something's bugging you, I know it. …Sorry about what I said… It's just-"

"It's fine, Terra. It's not that, it's something else," Ventus quickly cut in, falling silent once again as he frowned. Once again his gaze traveled to the window, watching the buildings and other cars move sluggishly by. In just a few minutes time, Terra pulled up to his house, turning off his car and looking to the blond.

"If you changed your mind, I understand. Sorry," he said, but Ventus only shook his head.

"It's fine, and no, I didn't change my mind." Ventus threw open the car door and stepped onto the sidewalk, glancing back to Terra expectantly. "If you want to come in while I grab some stuff, then go ahead."

"Alright. I haven't been in your house in a while, anyway." Terra muttered, following Ventus as he crossed his front yard to his front door, hesitating at the blond's doorway before trailing in behind him. The entire home was filled with silence, not one person breaking it.

Ventus' mother worked late Friday nights in her office and due to Ventus' father being a pilot; he was susceptible of flights that took multiple days. At times he could fly to the next state, and other times he would fly as far as China. However, from what he had heard earlier, his father was merely flying to New York, a flight of only a few hours that would have him home by the next morning, most likely. …Unless there were delays.

He entered the kitchen, immediately moving to stand before the refrigerator, reaching a hand to feel about the top of the fridge, ripping a sticky note off of the counter beside it and scribbling out a quick note:

_Mom, I'm staying the night at Terra's… So don't worry or anything. _

_-Ven_

He hesitated, pen hovering at the end of his note. It seemed so impersonal, lacking his personality, his voice, but how could he convey that into such a short note? He had just barely been able to show emotions other than depression and fear, as-of-late, so how could he even manage it?

He knew he was going to have to ask Dr. Gainsborough.

He shook his head slightly and slapped the note onto the door, a place he knew his mother would eventually find it, if she bothered to read it at all. He had no idea how much she would care, but he suspected that thought as just a negative side effect of something… That was his only excuse for everything.

Quickly he moved through his home, determined to leave before something terrible could happen, before the possibility of Vanitas showing himself could occur. He threw open his door, pushing it completely open and pressing it firmly against the wall, certain it could not close on its own. Pulling his backpack off his shoulders, he moved to his closet, grabbing the first shirt and pair of jeans he could find.

"Ready yet?" Terra asked, appearing in the open doorway and startling the small blond. Nearly dropping his backpack, he tightened his grip with shaky hands, nodding stiffly. Is there any way for him to be able to tell if there was a dark presence in his room? That there was a permanent air of depression and fear that hung around the space?

He stared at Terra as he entered, glancing around the room, his face showing a slight tinge of suspicion that made Ventus flinch.

He knew, he knew, he _knew_.

Terra stepped into the room, glancing around to the bare walls, each a dull shade of beige, the windows with no curtains, leading out to a painful drop high above the ground.

"I haven't been here in years," Terra commented.

Carpet a sandy color, hiding stains of blood in its jungle of synthetic fibers.

"So much has changed…"

What once held colorful posters of bands and pictures of friends, what once held fond memories of happiness and love, now held pain, now held misery.

Clothing with tears stuffed beneath the bed, hidden away along with the sewing kit he used to repair them. Trophies from sports he once played shoved into a box and hidden in the top shelf of his closet, never to see light again. Rolls of film filled with smiles and surprised faces and _friends _tucked away into a corner, somewhere he could not remember.

So much had changed, indeed.

"L-let's go," the blond quickly stuttered, earning a glance from the tall brunet. He simply nodded and turned to leave, meanwhile giving the room a last sweep with his gaze, suspicion in his indigo eyes. He then left, leaving his friend alone in his room, alone in his thoughts. With a choked breath, Ventus sighed and quickly followed Terra into his car, out of the place he wished he could call his home once again.

* * *

_A/n: Lot's of plot twists and bombs that have been dropped, and many subplots introduced, and holy fuck, I may be in over my head. However, I'm only guesstimating that this will be around or less than 20 chapters because it's only spanning out a month (or less). I already have the ending planned, and nothing you guys can say or do can make me change it. It's sad, and it's most likely gonna make you cry (it's my goal). I hope that I'll redeem myself in the epilogue.  
__Anywho, sorry for the shit, I've been in a dark place recently. I've felt extremely depressed, and even had the intention of harming myself over spring break, but I'm too much of a chicken shit to do that. Before I dabble in my life problems, I'll just say that I'm not looking for attention, I'm just giving an excuse, even if it's shitty.  
__Sorry. I'll get the next chapter out as fast as I can, hopefully before my 14th__ birthday. If not, I'll just make it longer than this chapter as an apology. Expect more ridiculous plot twists that would put M. Night Shyamalan to shame and expect more violence and less sex. Definitely in the next chapter, but that might be it. I want this story to be more serious, and pointless sex is obviously pointless**.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/n:Hi there, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Carrie/Hold on hero/Hitchups, you're pretty much the only reason this chapter was finished this weekend. Thank you for beta-ing it and for pushing me along when I hadn't the slightest idea what to write. You're just a really awesome person, and you're a fan of Lygo and that just makes me happy? I dunno, but you made sparkly gifs and that's just fantastic._

_Elements from my life have been used in this chapter, but I can assure you that I do not experience anything that is anywhere near this extent. Simply a base._

_I apologize that it took nearly two years to update this, and I'd love to give excuses, but I won't. I began this when I was twelve, and posted one week shy of my thirteenth birthday. I am now fifteen and well into the second semester of my sophomore year in highschool. I have every intention to finish this before I graduate, and I promise that I have no intention of ever letting this sit for so long again. I may not be back to writing fan fiction, but I will finish this. _

_Trigger warnings include: Dubious consent (when is that not a thing here, honestly?), heavy illustration of depression and the thought process, suicidal thoughts, and a bit of out-of-character tendencies._

* * *

_Lygophobia_

_Chapter 6_

* * *

He was so afraid, and he could not help but feel foolish because of it. He could feel himself trembling in his shoes, his heart pounding violently in his ears, and there was also a sinking feeling in his chest; and the entire time his eyes were fixated on the large analog clock that was mounted on the wall adjacent to the one he was leaning against.

He was safe here, wasn't he? Why was he shaking so hard? Why was the pool stick he had gripped so tightly in his hands slick with the sweat beading on his palms?

Every so often Terra would glance up at him beneath his brow as he set up the billiards, his eyes slightly concerned and questioning. Ventus could not bring himself to lie and say he was alright just to assure his friend. He wasn't alright.

He just couldn't help but be scared.

"You don't have to be nervous," Terra murmured, breaking the triangular formation with a swift tap to the cue ball. "We're not being competitive about this or anything."

It took Ventus every fiber in his being not to whimper. Terra knew so much, and yet so little. He yearned to tell him everything.

"O-Okay," he stuttered out, loosening his grip as he realized his knuckles were a stark shade of white.

Terra glanced to him, his eyes flashing with something unrecognizable. "You're acting really strange. If something's going on at school, just tell me."

He physically felt pain, right in the hollow of his chest. "It's nothing." His lips could not even form an excuse.

Terra closed his mouth and decided to let the blond be. "I'm solids," he began, bringing a favorable change to their meager conversation, "you're stripes."

As the brunet lined up his shot, left eye closed in concentration as he lined up the cue ball with a solid, Ventus allowed himself a memory he had not exactly thought about in a long time.

Once upon a time, when he didn't have scars littering his skin and he could actually sleep through the night without the fear of _whatever_, he was an avid sports player. Coaches called him a natural, and whatever he picked up became another skill to add to his belt. He had trophies (which he could not bear to look at anymore, so he hid them deep in his closet) from all the games he played and boxes upon boxes of equipment stacked in the attic. His still had muscle from baseball and occasionally he would stare down the players on television in slight envy. It wasn't that he couldn't play, it was that he was afraid of anyone (_else, _he mentally added) seeing his scars, he was afraid of his injuries hindering him from playing. They happened so frequently that he would not be able to pass them off as pulled muscles anymore. He did not want people getting suspicious, prodding him for an explanation they wouldn't believe.

When Dr. Gainsborough asked him why he no longer played sports, he blamed it on not having the drive. He continuously lied and only felt guilty when she would discuss medicating him for depression.

"It's your turn."

Terra's words snapped him out of his trance and he allowed himself to blink at the brunet before he exhaled with a small "oh" and moved to the table. He positioned his cue and felt his heart flutter just a bit in his chest caused by the excitement of a sport. It really _had _been too long. He missed playing the sports that would make his chest swell with pride.

The cue ball shot forward, knocking two stripes into a single pocket. Terra whistled and observed Ventus as he shot another striped ball into a pocket. Unfortunately, the cue ball was not lucky enough to avoid it and in it followed. The blond cracked a small smile and nodded at the brunet. "Your turn."

Terra placed the cue onto the table, glancing up to the blond quickly before knocking a solid into a pocket. "Y'know," he began, "baseball tryouts are next semester."

Ventus felt his mouth suddenly go dry as he averted his gaze. He wasn't exactly sure why this became such a sensitive topic, but it had.

"You know how I messed up my arm—"

"It's healed by now and I know you know that." Terra narrowly missed the pocket he was aiming for and met Ventus' gaze. "You're good enough to be on varsity. You know our team needs you. We haven't been to playoffs. Ever. I can only hold up the team for so long before I crack under the pressure."

"Yeah, well—"

"You could get a scholarship to college, Ven. You're a sophomore, and you could actually accomplish that. Coach is practically begging me to convince you to join the team."

_Crack_, another striped ball was knocked into a pocket. "I don't know…"

"I thought you were getting better," Terra mumbled quietly, as if to himself. "You used to be so _happy_…"

_Crack_.

"I am," he said, head lowering dejectedly as he sighed. He wished he had never told Terra about the medication. "I'm a lot better."

_A lie._ He threw out every pill he was supposed to take, one from each bottle every day. How could he take the medication he didn't even need? What exactly would happen to him if he actually took them? Would he become more of an emotionless zombie than he already was?

_But_, he thought, _maybe being numb is better than being so afraid._

"I want to help, I want you to be happy." Terra was frowning, and his eyes held a slight sadness. "We miss the old you."

There was a silence that weighed painfully on his shoulders. He knew he changed, but he never truly realized how it affected those around him. "The old me never left."

"Aqua and I are really concerned." Terra was treading on thin ice, and he knew Ventus could snap at him at any second, could get angry and leave and never bother with him again. "I want you to know we really care about you. We've known each other since we were kids, and now you're drifting away from us. I could help you out. All you need to do is ask, because I don't want to do anything drastic and drive you away."

Ventus knocked the eight ball into a pocket. "Can we change the subject?"

Terra had a pained look in his eyes, one that pleaded with him to just ask for the help they both knew he needed. "Sorry."

* * *

Ventus slept soundly that night, dreaming of a pleasant nothingness that he wanted to reside in for an everlasting eternity. He was so tired of living in hell, and this silence was enough to make him wish for a little break. Or a permanent solution; either or.

He roused from his sleep at the crack of dawn, and he lied awake on the air mattress Terra had set up for him in his room. He shifted onto his side, pulling the blankets high over his shoulders with a small huff. He closed his eyes and tightened his fingers into the fabric of the blanket that did nothing for the cold. It felt strange not having a nightmare, but he'd gladly take a dark silence over something that made him wake gasping for air with a trembling, sweat-covered body.

Silently, he thanked any force that prevented him from dreaming and closed his eyes once again, his thoughts drifting to the pure rage that Vanitas was most likely feeling.

When he awoke once again, his eyes fell on Terra's bed, a disheveled mess that indicated that he had just rolled out of it. With a yawn, Ventus threw the blankets off his body, slightly hesitant to exit the comfortable aura of the room. Shaking his head, he pulled open the door, blowing air out of his mouth as he made his way into the kitchen. It had been a while, but he always remembered that Terra would run there the minute he roused from sleep.

He ran his fingers through his tousled hair, entering the doorway, his eyes falling on Terra and his mother as they conversed over breakfast. Both turned their heads to him, one bearing a smile, the other greeting him with, "It's nice having you over again, sweetie. There's pancakes on the bar, help yourself."

With a small wave and a word of thanks, Ventus grabbed a plate and pushed two pancakes onto his plate, his absent appetite seeming to be a bit gracious that morning. He pulled out a seat at the table, a wave of emotions crashing onto him as memories flooded through his mind.

He missed this; why did he push it away?

The moon was high when he finally left his friend's home. The entire day they had spent at the park tossing a baseball back and forth, discussing trivial things that they never really got a chance to address at school.

It was not until Terra pulled up before his house that Ventus remembered what was waiting for him. With dread washing over him, his smile became strained. Despite his wish against it, Terra noticed, turning off the vehicle with a quick turn of the keys, angling his body towards the blond as he chewed the inside of his cheek.

"You're having family problems, aren't you?" _Suspicion._

Ventus' head fell, and his fingers picked at the seatbelt absently. After a bit of uncomfortable silence, he finally answered. "Kinda."

Terra's gaze held an unreadable thought and he rubbed at his forehead. "Is this why you're down all the time?" _He knows something._

"N-no…" _It was. Everything started at home._

"It's okay to tell me," Terra said quietly. "It's only a secret between us. I just want to understand what's causing this." _What do you know?_

Exhaling deeply, Ventus finally whispered, "Yeah. Things aren't really the best right now. They haven't been for a long time. My dad hasn't been understanding. He kind of makes things worse, and it's to the point that mom's numb to the entire situation." A vague, gentle truth was falling from his lips like a waterfall and with each word he felt his shoulders slump less and less. "I don't like telling my therapist that because I don't want the finger pointed at them. It isn't their faults, they just can't handle it. They're trying to help. Even if he's kind of mean about it, I know my dad is just trying to help." _Maybe if he told him something close to the actual truth, he'll be believable. _

"If you need anyone to talk to," Terra said, slightly relieved by the bit of information he received from Ventus, "or if you ever need me to help you out in any way, Aqua and I are right here." He tousled the blond's hair, receiving a laugh and a slap at his hand. "I'll see ya later."

"See ya," Ventus said with a smile, exiting the vehicle. Waving at his friend, Terra drove off, sighing with a frown as he rifled through his pocket for his phone. Without hesitance he called Aqua.

Meanwhile, Ventus stared up at his house, refusing to allow fear to overtake him.

"_If you ever need me to help_…" Why was Terra's voice so pleading? Was he even aware of what he was offering? Was he aware that Ventus wanted nothing more than his help, for the protection he couldn't give?

The blond sighed heavily, his smile fell.

He considered sitting outside for the rest of the night, knowing Vanitas would not dare attack him outside, but the darkness of the street and the orange glow of the lamps obscured his silhouette, and surely the neighbors could mistake him for a burglar or something akin to that. With a shudder he stepped foot onto his lawn, body rigid as he made his way to the front door. He unlocked it and opened it hesitantly, meeting an impenetrable silence that suffocated his very being.

God, he was so afraid.

He was walking right in into darkness.

His mother was most likely asleep, and that thought cascaded upon his shoulders. He was virtually alone.

_He needed her to protect him._

Loneliness. He hated being alone. He hated that there was no one else to fill the empty space in his large home. With his things slung over his shoulder in his suddenly heavy duffel bag, he dragged himself up the staircase, suddenly tired as his body slumped over like lead. He hadn't felt so depressed in a long time. He hadn't yearned for the company of his mother in such a long time. He hadn't yearned for the company of the woman that lost the happiness in her eyes, off like a light. The guilt of this realization was heavy on him, made him suddenly feel selfish. The change that wracked his entire life had destroyed his family.

His room was silent, he couldn't feel any other presence. His defense was up however, but that fact alone was laughable. He vaguely considered walking straight through the windowsill. Maybe that could solve his problems.

* * *

That night, he had expected not to dream due to his emotional and mental exhaustion. However, he wasn't surprised, and found it somewhat ironic.

It began in a closed space (a room? A building?), dark and vast, and yet constricting and suffocating. Hisses flooded the silence, but he couldn't distinguish the direction it was coming from, and when he had thought that he had, another roared opposite of it and confused him once again. He could not see a thing, but there was a horrible, repugnant smell, reeking of sorrow and hopelessness. His eyes moved around the room, searching, searching for some source of light, something that could show him where he was. In the corner, a single pair of golden orbs popped into existence, a horrible shade of a glowing yellow that illuminated the face of whatever it belonged to.

And then it happened.

Many more appeared, revealing the bodies of the frightening creatures as they attempt to move closer to him.

Their human-like bodies were twitching, swirling black masses, all trembling in their excitement. Their antennae doubled over themselves far behind their heads, their clawed hands reaching for him, attempting to grasp him, to touch his being with their impure hands.

He was filled with terror, but he could not summon a scream in his vocal chords. What were these things? He did not know, and, as a morbid curiosity overtook him, he reached out, attempting to touch the nearest of the many _things_. However, his hand merely swiped trough the creature, causing it to blink and then hiss at him, its body jerking about as it retracted from his touch.

_As if he had burned it._

His eyes grew wide and he quickly drew back his hand, turning his palms toward him to examine them in the faint glow of the creatures' eyes. No, it was unmistakable. The feeling of liquid running through his fingers was _unmistakable_. However, his fingers were unaffected; they were still as dry as they were before he had attempted to touch the creature. His eyes trailed upwards to examine the creature he had touched, and his eyes immediately grew wide.

It crouched low to the ground, its body twisting bent unnaturally, and before he could scramble away, it sprang into the air, landing onto him and knocking him onto his back. He screamed, struggling beneath its weight, attempting to shake off the creature whose body's texture resembled water more than smoke.

Suddenly, he cannot move, he can't even feel his body. His eyes widen and roll around in their sockets, his mind struggling to send some sort of signal to his lifeless limbs. He couldn't fight against the creature as it hovered over him, dug its claws into his arms.

It's whispering, soft, a hissing sound that he cannot decipher. His fear is crippling him, there are hands scraping against the floor he cannot see.

"_Ven… tssssss_…" His name, they're whispering his name. His awareness of the situation but his physical detachment is all too much. Claws are scratching his legs, there is a mass hovering over him. There's glowing, yellow in the darkness, little lights that are flickering, _blinking._

"_Ven… tusssssss_…" A hand grabs his chin, another pulls his hair. Their touch is like water, but there is no wetness, his skin freezing where the hands hold him. He can't make a proper sound, only squeaks that catch in his lungs. Suddenly there's a face close to his, the eyes of whatever hellish creature is resting atop him staring straight into his frightened soul. It's jerking, twitching, moving in close with a strange grace.

"_Ventusssss_," it hisses, "_join_ _usssss_…"

_He can't move, he can't breathe. _

"_Give in, Ventussssss_…" There's a muffled rumbling in his chest, a refusal.

"_Your heart…_"

The creatures are piling onto one another, melting together, looming over him in a wave of darkness. _No breathing._ _He can't breathe_.

It cascades down onto him, dousing him in its frigid fluidity, drowning him in silence and crushing him with its weight. He twitches, he spasms, he shoots upright with a quickness he did not know he had. In an instant the darkness is gone, in its place the familiarity of the moonlight. He gasps for breath and he curls in onto himself, his fingers threading through his hair as he quietly sobs.

_He didn't ask for this._

He couldn't bring himself to try to sleep after that. He only rocked silently for the rest of the night, only lifting his head when he sees light beginning to seep into his room.

At an appropriate time he leaves the house, his only covering a warm jacket. His hand is wrapped around his rarely-used cell phone, a recently called number the only activity it has experience in months. His steps are quick, too quick, showing his eagerness to leave. Was it wrong to escape before he could possibly tell his mother goodbye? Would she be worried? He hadn't the slightest idea, but he could no longer stand being in his bedroom, not after the previous night's occurrences, and the rest of his home was not a better choice. He had no other desire than to leave, and he only really had one place in mind.

What exactly were these things he had seen, why was this dream so different from the others?

They had spoken to him, and they had whispered his name. The very thought sent shivers up his spine, a reaction that couldn't be blamed on the chilling wind or the ice that clung to the brittle grass of the front yards he passed. His mind is occupied by blackness and suffocation, and all he wants is to clear his head. Whispers of his name echo inside his skull, their watery touches linger on his skin, he's pleading with his brain to let it go but it just won't.

"Ven!"

There's another voice calling him, he runs his fingers through his hair and glances up from where they had been staring at his moving feet. Aqua's waving to him thirty feet away, a soft smile on her face. She dressed warmly, much more prepared than he is despite them both making plans to meet. He forces a smile, reaching her in no time. She pulls him into a strong embrace, resting her cheek on the top of his head. He feels his cheeks flare up; he's not used to affection from the elder teen.

"Good morning!" she says cheerfully as she releases him. Her cheeks are pink from the wind, but she doesn't show any discomfort.

"Good morning," he replies, eyes trailing toward the structure they were standing before. The park was empty, a given due to the early time and chilly weather. However, when he had asked if she was interested in meeting him there, she hardly seemed reluctant. If anything, she sounded a bit excited.

It was a normal Sunday morning, and the aftermath of yet another crippling blow to Ventus' emotional stability. He'd rather not think about that.

"Let's go sit on the swings." She motioned over to the lone equipment in question, the smile never leaving her lips. It was infectious, he soon found himself following suit. He follows her to the swing set and takes the swing beside her. The rubber of the seat is cracking a bit, and the chains are cold, but he feels at peace, at ease. Every worry is suddenly gone, and replaced with placidity. He closes his eyes and sways with the wind.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks, and he expects himself to flinch, but is somewhat surprised when he does not. He merely shakes his head, a slow and calm movement.

"Not really." His shoes scuff on the sand at his feet. "Had a bad dream."

Her hand is on his head, ruffling his unruly spikes. "Don't worry about stuff like that." He opens his eyes and meets her smile again. There's a sad twinge to it, folding down the corners in such a way that it was hardly noticeable. "None of it's real, don't let it get to you."

He opens his mouth to protest, but it falls short. There's no use arguing this, because Aqua just couldn't understand.

"Don't worry, Ven," she cuts in, as if reading his thoughts, "we'll chase the monsters away."

The idea is childish, but there's a strange sort of comfort that came from that. He felt reassured, and could sense that the 'we' was including Terra.

He had demons to fight, but maybe he could chase them away. Just for a while, stop curling into himself in fear.

He was determined to change that.

When he returned home he threw his things onto his carpeted floor, looked around his room. It screamed secrets and lies. He threw open his curtains, causing the light from the sun that hung high in the sky to flood into his room. The whiteness of the walls were blinding, but he pushed the asylum nightmare to the back of his mind as he pushed open his window. The cold breeze swirled into his room and he could hardly care about the temperature. The freshness was welcome, the stuffiness was suddenly too much.

The drive to change his very surroundings spoke volumes. He was willing to do the very thing he feared. Dr. Gainsborough would be so proud.

He couldn't will himself to do more, to touch the things hidden away in his closet, the things that used to add color to the walls that were glaring a harsh shade of white at him. He moved to his bed, pulling off his sheets, shivering at the small droplets of blood he found on the mattress, finally ready to eradicate the evidence from the very fibers of the place it occurred. He was brave enough to change his life. He was brave enough to face his family and friends and show them he was finally done. He had fought back, he had stood up to the beast that made his life hell.

He pushed the thoughts of the fear in the eyes of his mother, the fear that she couldn't help her son. He pushed away the thoughts of the anger in his father's eyes, the anger towards himself in the failure of not being able to do a damn thing for the person he was supposed to protect.

Ventus grabbed his anxiety medication and swallowed down the first pill.

He was ready.

It was an hour later when his mother arrived, hauling in groceries with her hair in a messy bun that indicated the stress caused by her work. Seeing her carrying the bags, Ventus padded down the stairs and took them from her strained hands, meeting her surprised eyes as he sent her a small smile, a rare smile, one that caused his irises to light up for a split second before they returned to their normal selves. Without a second thought he pecked her on the cheek, overwhelmed with the guilt, driven to repair the woman before him that was as broken as he was. She was dumbfound, confused, but she accepted it with a slumping of her shoulders in obvious relief. He moved away from her and was off to the kitchen with shoulders that felt just a bit lighter.

Just a bit.

The only thing he could do now was await the arrival of his father, to prepare to control the damage brought by whatever Vanitas had planted in his brain, to prepare to fix the damage of a wreck that occurred so long ago.

He was ready. He was finally ready.

* * *

His father arrived home at a time painfully close to night. Ventus was anxious all the while as the sun began to descend, anxious for the inevitable arrival of Vanitas. When he was preparing for bed he heard a quiet knock on his door and it opened without his approval but he didn't mind much. He turned and was met with the sight of his mother, her eyes red and puffing, tears threatening to fall as she rushed forward to wrap her arms around him. Clutching her son tightly, she cried into his shoulder, not at all noticing the bewildered expression on his face.

"God, Ventus," she cried, "y-your father told me… I had no idea."

Confusion.

"M-mom…"

"When you didn't come home right away, I had no idea what to do. I didn't really know if you were at Terra's at all, and I didn't want to call because I didn't want to start jumping to conclusions." She was rambling, stumbling over each word with clumsy feet as her throat scratched with the tears of a frightened and confused mother. "I didn't know if you had lied, and even then where you could have gone and I was just so _afraid _of going to search for you. I was afraid of you doing anything to yourself, and what your father just told me… God, Ventus, I thought you might have tried to kill yourself… _again_," she amended, "I didn't know what to do, I really didn't. All I could really do all afternoon was wait for your father to come home because I had no idea what to say to you." She was handling him with kid gloves, truly unsure of what to do in the situation. Her maternal instincts were shot, emotional trauma inflicted by a lunatic for a son had the tendency to do that.

Her statement nearly winded him, his eyes struggling not to show his surprise as he stared at the wall over her shoulder. Suddenly, everything went into question and he didn't know what to think anymore. He noticed that for the past few days he _had _been having thoughts here and there, but enough to go through with it? When could this have happened, and without his knowledge? "Mom," he whispered, just above her sniffling, "don't cry, please, just… don't cry."

"I didn't know what to do, baby," she whispered, a nickname he hadn't heard in such a long time. "When I saw you this morning… the relief was overwhelming."

"I'm here," he whispered. "I'm here and I'm staying. I'm staying for good, I promise."

She was shaking, her concern for him was so overwhelming. She had been the one fighting for him the hardest for so long, and she refused to give up.

She sniffled for a few more moments before she pulled away, her eyes showing her relief. "You don't know how amazing that is to hear… but… you have another appointment with Dr. Gainsborough Tuesday. I called as an emergency. I needed you to see her, tell her what you tried to do. God, I don't even know how to feel about that… Afraid that you tried, so relieved that your father stopped you. Please, please never leave us."

Realization dawned on him and he was filled with pain and anger. He hugged her again and nodded into her temple.

"Night," he whispered, and she pulled away and wiped at her eyes.

"Goodnight," she replied quietly.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Ventus. Don't forget that." She left with a kiss to his cheek and when she closed the door behind her, Ventus flinched.

"How cute," Vanitas drawled, his hands flying to the door handle to lock it. "So damn cute, I want to vomit."

The lights flickered out with a spark, and the room was suddenly enveloped in a bitter darkness. His heart began hammering in his chest and he was breaking out in sweat and suddenly he was so _scared_.

"Wh-what…" Ventus moved backward by instinct, his heart dropping as he legs hit his bed. Vanitas followed, closing the gap between him with an angered vigor. Grabbing hold of his waist, Vanitas dug his sharp claws into Ventus' side, causing a sharp yelp of pain to rip through the small blond's vocal chords as the tips broke through skin.

"You know," he said, dragging the claws in his other hand up his spine, hiking the hem of his shirt higher and higher, "I _missed _you."

"Leave me alone," Ventus forced out, "leave me _alone_." The demon merely shoved him backward, landing on him, straddling him, pinning his hands to the bed before he even had a chance to fight back. "God," he whispered, "_leave me alone._"

"You're funny," Vanitas whispered, "pretending like words can stop me." He moved a hand to Ventus' stomach, lightly moving the sharpness of his claws upward. "Leaving," he scoffed, "you're so cute." The pressure suddenly increased and the blond beneath him writhed and whimpered in pain. "_Avoiding_ me at that _creature's _home."

"Wh-what—"

"I should kill you now," he growled, his anger rising with each word. "I should do away with you. I should do away with your pathetic existence."

"Coward," Ventus forced out, his simmering anger finally bubbling over, "being in your demon form."

"How can I kill you," Vanitas countered, "when I'm human?" He dragged his claws sharply over Ventus' heart, causing his breath to sharply hitch in his throat. "How can I rip out your heart when I'm human?" He leaned down and roughly grabbed the blond's chin, not leaving a single scratch but pressing his fingers to the soft skin hard enough to possibly bruise him. "I could strangle you, maybe." The corners of his mouth were turning upward in a sick smirk. "Or I could snap that pretty little neck of yours, just like _this._" With a flick of his wrist he twisted Ventus' head to the side, causing the blond to hold his breath as his head spun.

Vanitas laughed, leaning down to whisper into his ear, "Maybe I can bash your head onto the floor, stain it with blood." His claws tapped lazily on the blond's skin, the smirk on Vanitas' lips never leaving as he felt Ventus begin to quiver beneath him. "Break your skull and soak your hair."

"St-stop," Ventus whimpered, "stop, please."

"You're trying to help yourself," he laughed, "like that'll work."

"V-Vani—"

"Beg me not to."

"W-what— "

"Beg me not to," he repeated, "because you tried to get away from me."

"Please," Ventus whimpered, "please don't kill me."

"All the horrid things I could do," he growled. "You ran off to that idiot's house, acting like he can _protect_ you." He spat out the word as if it were bitter on his tongue. There was a harsh tone in his voice, a possessive edge that did not go unnoticed.

"I…"

"And here I was," his golden eyes flashed with rage, and his words were grating through his teeth, "waiting. I was convinced someone else had stolen the kill I've rightfully earned." Below him Ventus whimpered, but the demon merely tapped his fingers. "Then you return, and you reek of _purity_."

"I… please, don't," Ventus tried again but interrupted with a scoff.

Vanitas slowly began pressing the sharp tips of his claws into the blond's cheeks. "Tell me what you really want."

"D-don't hurt me." There was a high pitch to his voice as the claws threatened to puncture his skin.

"Wrong again."

"_Please_," he stressed, "please don't."

"You don't mean it," the demon said with a smirk. "Beg."

"Please, Vanitas," he forced out, struggling beneath him, "fuck me instead."

"Much better." His mouth crashed down onto the blond's, his fangs missing as he bit down onto his bottom lip. With a gasp Ventus' lips parted, his tongue struggling against Vanitas' as he shifted beneath him. Pulling away the raven hissed, "Don't you dare fight back," as he fisted the blond's hair with a merciless grip. He yanked his head backward, holding him in place as he took both his wrists into one hand. "It wouldn't work anyway," he growled against his mouth, "you might as well give up." He surged forward once again, satisfied by the lack of resistance the blond now had. Falling limp beneath him, Ventus was a rag doll in Vanitas' arms as he was shifted further back on the bed.

He was angry; at himself, at Vanitas. He was angry that there were hands around his wrists and that his body was pinned to his bed, a mouth on his and a wretched feeling swimming through his veins.

He was afraid, afraid of the things his body was doing, how they were reacting. He should be acting, he should be fighting back, but his body was doing neither. It was as if the connection of his mind and body had been severed with just a kiss, a kiss that was now losing its violent force and adopting lust.

His mind was fighting the racing of his heart, the desire to pull the raven closer as his hands were freed. _You don't want this_, his mind supplied. _You don't love him._ His arms moved around Vanitas' shoulders, a movement that could not be controlled by the brain that was becoming more and more cloudy. He moaned against the raven's mouth and pulled his head closer and moved his hips upwards in a desperation for a closeness that was reciprocated.

_You don't want this._

If only that were true.

Hours later Ventus felt dirty as he lay in his bed, drifting in and out of sleep, his sheets a crumpled mess around his aching body as the muffled glow from the window became lighter and lighter, giving way to dawn as the sun prepared to rise. Love bites and bruises were now littered across his scarred skin and he desperately fought the tears that wanted to fall. He couldn't cry, he had to stay strong.

He wanted nothing more than for his life to change, for fate to give him the break he desperately wanted. He wished he could turn back time, to that night so long ago, to change the decision against staying out. None of this would have happened. His life would not be like this.

He was tumbling down a hill with no chance of stopping, gaining more and more speed as the bones in his body ached and his skin bruised. He was growing dizzy and he could no longer distinguish the sky from the ground or his arms from his legs. The hill was steep and he felt that somehow he was going to reach the bottom, but he hadn't a clue when or what would happen when he finally got there. If only he could slow himself, roll to a stop, collapse onto his back and gasp for the air he needed and the senses he lost.

He could wish all he wanted things would never change.

* * *

Monday morning he was haggard, the sleep he needed he was deprived of. Possibly two hours, but he dismissed that thought as speculation and wishful thinking.

His body was sore, and a curtain of sadness and helplessness was suffocating him. Mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, he managed to slip out of his home without alerting to his mother than anything was wrong. He merely kissed her on the cheek—which had surprised her—before leaving without a word. The trek to school was a harsh one, with biting cold stinging his face and making him hunch over into himself.

The power that Vanitas had was frightening, and that underlying concern of just what he had fed into his father's mind was nearly forgotten until the truth was presented to him in the form of his sobbing mother. His suspicions were confirmed, truly nothing was safe.

He couldn't bring himself to be upset, however. He just couldn't manage it. There was that nagging tugging of his heart, uniform throughout the majority of his ordeal, and maybe it was just some sort of murmur, something another doctor could prescribe medication for.

He had managed to delude himself into believing that he was alright. His emotions were a rollercoaster, his mental health deteriorating to the point that he was a trembling mess. Maybe life really wasn't worth living.

He arrived at school with low spirits and stress racking his brain. Aqua was standing near the entrance, the smile on her face falling when her eyes fell on him. This only intensified the feeling. She meets him halfway and pulls him into her arms, running her hand over his hair in a soothing motion. It was then he noticed that he was crying, and he leaned heavily into her arms, feeling utterly pathetic as he allowed himself to break down in front of her.

"It's okay, Ven," she whispers, her voice sad with a helpless sort of tone hidden in it, "everything's gonna be okay."

If only it could be.

* * *

"Ven, your mother's call on Sunday had me worried," Dr. Gainsborough said, her voice calm and soothing. "She didn't explain anything over the phone. Would you mind telling me what caused her to make another appointment so soon?"

"I… I guess I tried to kill myself," he said quietly, the guilt he felt towards his mother preventing him from lying. "But I'm being honest when I say I don't remember a thing." She was unfazed and he could hardly be surprised, she obviously hears shocking things like that a lot.

"You don't need to do that, Ventus," she said gravely. "It's never the answer. You could have called a friend and asked them to talk you through the night. There are hotlines. Don't be afraid to look for help."

"I… I know, and… I'm never going to again."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

Ventus bit his tongue and avoided the eyes staring into him, concerned, yet professional. Right, this was her job.

"Yes."

"I think," she said, pulling her notepad off her desk, "you should tell me the events leading up to your attempt. Did anything emotionally triggering happen?"

He shook his head. "I guess it was just an impulsive decision. Didn't really think about it. Didn't think about the repercussions."

"This is serious," she said. "Have you been having suicidal thoughts before this?"

"Not… not really. Once or twice, but I never really _considered_ it." He rested his chin on the palm of his hand. "I never thought I would go through with it. They were just little thoughts in the back of my mind."

"Well, I think I should prescribe you a heavier dosage of your depression medication, okay? That should help."

"I hope so," he said. "I hope it does."

"So, Ventus, how is your social life?" she asked, finishing her note with a flourish. "How are you with your friends?"

"Well…" he said, hesitance evident in his voice, "I guess I hadn't realized the way I've been acting has affected my friends." Her silence coaxed him on. "This weekend was the first time I've stayed over at my friend's house in so long. I didn't realize that until morning. But last night my mom told me how she thought that I went off and had done something instead, I don't know…" His fingers played with the edges of his checkered wristband. "I had no idea how much they were all hurting."

"Ventus," she said calmly, "you still haven't told me what you think has caused this all." He knew she was referring to his so-called 'depression' and 'anxiety'. Before Vanitas, he was never like this. He never feared the dark, or silence, or loneliness, or anything else for that matter. He never crawled into a corner of the shower and cried his eyes out, scrubbing at his marred skin until it nearly bled. He was never afraid of being in his room when the lights went out, when he was at _his_ mercy.

"It's…" he began. "It's a long story."

"We have at least half an hour left, I think we have enough time for you to explain a bit."

"I just…" He hadn't the slightest idea what to say, what lie to make up. He wanted to tell her, tell her everything, but how could he? Vanitas had stopped him before. What could he say? He said the first thing that fell from his lips. "Please don't tell my mom, I don't want her to start thinking I'm crazy or something."

"Patient confidentiality." The pen she had in her hand was pressed a bit too eagerly into her notes for his liking.

"I guess I… sometimes I see things." Her ears perked, but she hesitated to write. "I have been for a while. For two years." He inhaled shakily. He couldn't slow his words, and despite it being somewhat of a lie, his mind was slowly becoming at ease. "It's mostly at night when I'm trying to sleep, and I'm just so scared that I don't know what to do. It's an overwhelming feeling."

"I need you to explain a bit more," she whispered. "Just what you can."

"I…" his eyes were moving around the room, nervous, nervous for Vanitas' possible appearance. "I guess that might have been why I tried to kill myself. I just wanted to stop seeing these things. They're starting to follow me into the day." _Lies, lies, lies_. He was waiting for a voice to come to his ear, to warn him not to say more. He closed his eyes. He needed to say this, something akin to the truth.

"You do realize that these are merely hallucinations, right? They're most likely caused by your medication. Ventus, I wish you told me sooner, we could have worked our way around this," she scolded.

"No," he quickly said in a sudden rush of breath, "they're not hallucinations; they're real— I… I can hear them and touch them and it's physically hurting me."

"Maybe I misdiagnosed you," she whispered quietly. "Maybe I was wrong all along…"

He could feel his stomach as it dropped.

"They're real." He wasn't a hallucination, Vanitas was a physical being that made his life a living hell. He wasn't a figment of his imagination, a manifestation of the imbalance of chemicals in his brain. Ventus was as sane as any other person, it was the things around him that were crazy.

"I'll prescribe you this sleep medication for now and hopefully we can sort things out in a few weeks. I don't want you to have to stop taking your medication, so we'll see how this works for now."

No. No. _No._

"But—" _But what if he didn't wake up? _

"Ventus, I have your best interests in mind. This is only a temporary thing while I get a second opinion from another doctor." She was already writing out a prescription. "Maybe in the future we can do a sleep study."

He was scared; he hadn't the slightest idea what this medication could possibly do to him. The paper was in his hands before he knew it, and he resisted the urge to close his hand tightly around it, crumpling the paper into a ball and throwing it away. How vulnerable could he be when he was barely conscious? How would Vanitas even react?

His feet carried him out of the office without his consent and he found his hand stuffing the prescription into his back pocket. He smiled at his mother who was seated cross-legged in a chair with her attention pored over a gossip magazine.

"What are we picking up today?" she asked, voice cheery despite the heavy truth lying beneath her statement, the blaring fact that her son was unwell and needed medication.

He couldn't let her know.

"We just upped my dosage of my depression medication. I have a follow-up in a few weeks." The paper was burning a hole into his jeans. He shifted from one foot to the other, the crinkling deafening in his ears.

When he arrived home, he entered his darkened room, having no energy to open his curtains. He was emotionally and mentally exhausted, and he was immediately out like a light.

* * *

"Wow," Larxene drawled, "you're finally your old self again."

With a growl, Vanitas shoved away the glass he previously had in his hand. He motioned towards the Sorcerer behind the bar for another. With a huff the underling demon pulled the glass it had been cleaning in the hidden place in its sleeves and poured alcohol into it with a ghostly hand. The jerkiness of its body did nothing to the steadiness of its grip and Vanitas accepted it with a nod of thanks. "Shut up."

"I mean, you were becoming so boring and talking all prim and proper. What happened?"

"Shut up, Larxene."

"Is it that human kid?"

"No—"

"Hello," a smooth, deep voice said, the owner sliding into view of Vanitas' peripheral vision. An arm wrapped around Larxene's waist and she leans into the pink-haired male it belongs to. Axel is beside them, moving to collapse into the stool beside the Shadow.

"Go away, Marluxia," Vanitas grumbled. "No one likes you."

"Don't listen to him," Larxene said, trailing her hand up Marluxia's arm, "he's just jealous."

"Kill me," Vanitas gagged. "Please."

"Oh, you," Axel laughed, already seeming to be tipsy on his own. "You're so funny!"

Turning to him, Vanitas spared him with a half-hearted glare. "Where's your baggage?" He'd rather not think about Xion, so another shot went down his throat. By now he was having a difficult time distinguishing one Sorcerer from the other, and he hadn't considered that there was only one. "Like that stupid Radiant or whatever."

"Roxas?"

"Bingo."

"Not really sure." Axel rested his chin on his hand, his elbow a bit shaky on the bar but sturdy enough. "Some kind of assignment… had something to do with being a goody-two-shoes with a rod up his ass." Vanitas snorted, his sudden noise drawing the previously undivided attention of Larxene and Marluxia.

"Drunk already, Vanitas?" Marluxia asked, waving around a fruity looking drink in his hand, brightly colored and strong. "Always the classy one. Great buddy you have here, Larxene."

"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you, flower boy," Vanitas snapped. "I don't need your stupid comments."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were drinking away the emotions you don't have." Marluxia said this quietly, but it did not go unheard by the Shadow. He gripped the glass in his hand a bit tighter, remained unflinching as it audibly cracked in his strong grip. The Sorcerer hissed in disapproval.

"You're drunk," Axel said lamely, a roll of his eyes punctuating his statement.

"And you're a fire crotch," the raven countered.

"He's been hanging around the human world too much. He's gaining a personality." Marluxia was mouthing off again, a sly smirk on his lips and a challenging gaze fixed solely on the Shadow.

"No I'm not," Vanitas retorted. "I'm as boring as ever."

"Taking you home," Axel grumbled. "You're becoming a bit too sassy."

"Sheee-it," Vanitas slurred exaggeratedly, "loosen up!"

"Stop raining on our parade, Vanitas." Marluxia cut in, earning a strong glare in return. "Go be an angry cloud somewhere else."

"Let's go," Axel sighed, grabbing Vanitas by his bicep, only to have it quickly shrugged off. Vanitas moved to his feet, sauntering after the Assassin. They exited the bar, the darkness of the alley comforting to the raven as the glow of the neon signs outlined their figures in flamboyant colors on the ground. They advance with casual, wary steps, the vast expanse of the center of the buildings empty just ahead of them. Despite being nearly impossible to, Vanitas' eyes followed the lesser demons as they skittered about in the seedy darkness, their golden eyes low to the ground, observing their surroundings with their limited understanding.

Off in the distance, Vanitas spotted two figures, both seated on the steps of Xemnas' office building. He squinted, recognizing Roxas easily. The blond was all but glowing with purity, his aura seemingly strong and blurry from the alcohol Vanitas had consumed. His eyes moved to focus on the being beside the blond. With a growl and a baring of his fangs he hissed territorially, phasing over to them without warning to the red head beside him. When he stepped through the dark portal he hissed maliciously at the female Shadow, animosity rising in an animalistic fashion. She blinked back at him in surprise, the fear he wanted to invoke in her nowhere in sight.

If anything, it made her giggle. Vanitas was not impressed.

"Hey, Xion," Roxas cut in, placing a hand on Vanitas' shoulder, "how 'bout you go catch up with Axel while I talk to Vanitas?" She simply eyed the Shadow, nodding at Roxas before disappearing. All the while, Vanitas could feel his anger receding, being sucked away by an unknown force. In his somewhat buzzed state he did not notice the heaviness on the blond's hand on his shoulder; his mind was wiped clean and replaced by a sudden placidity. Removing his hand, Roxas gave him a smile, asking him simply, "What's up?"

"I don't know," Vanitas mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion as he eyed the blond in suspicion. "I can't remember."

"Maybe you wanted to talk about your human?" There was the hand again. "You have before."

"You look just like him and that's weird."

"Maybe it can make you feel more comfortable, y'know, talking about it with me. It'll make you feel like you're telling him these things." He was practically force-feeding Vanitas the thoughts he should think. "It's kinda the same, sort of. Otherwise, you hate being around me."

"Yeah," Vanitas said, shoulders slumping a bit forward, "you reek of purity."

Roxas chuckled. "Is that really a bad thing?"

"It is when you're a Shadow. How can _she,_" he dared not mention her name, "even stand you."

The Radiant locked eyes with the demon. "She's not a bad person."

The conversation was going downhill fast, Vanitas couldn't remember why he even wanted to talk him, but he knew it wasn't for a confrontation. He may have been a bit of an aggressive drinker, but that was saved for those who pissed him off.

"A person," Vanitas scoffed. "She's a monster. Her only purpose in life is to slaughter the innocent. I think you've forgotten that. You've convinced yourself that she's something more than a killing machine." His voice dropped to a hiss, but he couldn't quite grasp at any feelings of anger. There was just a void where his emotions would have been. "…That she wouldn't hesitate to kill your stupid human."

"I think you could be a good person, Vanitas," he said quietly. The Shadow seemed to have struck a nerve in him, but if Roxas was bothered, he didn't mention it.

"You probably think lots of things. I bet that's how you've managed to make whatsherface even remotely good, you use your creepy powers on her or something."

"If you just let me help you-"

Belated realization dawned on the Shadow and he jerked away from the blond, stumbling back a few steps. "Don't try to pull your shit on me!"

"I'm helping you-!"

"How is turning me into some stupid _good person_-" he spat the words, "-supposed to _help_ me? It can get me killed!"

"You don't have to kill him," Roxas growled, "you don't have to _do_ anything."

Vanitas scoffed. "One month, that's all I have! One month to become a Neoshadow or it's _my_ head!"

"He wouldn't do anything to you."

"He's eliminated other demons for not completing their assignments before, why would I be any different?"

Roxas sighed angrily and reached out for the Shadow once again. Now aware of his intention, Vanitas flinched away from him, his slightly clumsy steps catching on one another and sending him to the ground. With a curse he glared up at the blond, his head spinning as he attempted to block the mental attacks. Scrambling away like a cornered animal from a nearly harmless child, he screamed, "I don't need your help!" before disappearing with a crack. Roxas could only stare at the wisps of darkness with melancholy thoughts. He needed to do something before it was too late.

With a huff, Vanitas stumbled into the darkness of his room, the stifled moonlight that peaked through the clouded sky could hardly provide him a decent view of where he was going, and he eventually hit his mattress after a bit of groping in the dark. Here, it was perpetually night. Here, he could dream forever.

However, he soon found himself drifting to sleep with the broken blue eyes of a human he'd rather not think of at all burned into his mind.

* * *

"Ven." The voice was serious, but there was an unmistakable concern lying beneath it. "Is there something you forgot to give me?"

He halted dead in his tracks, eyes wide as his face drained of all color. He didn't dare turn around to face her. "What d'you mean?" he asked nervously.

"There's nothing you might need?" She was quiet. "Something really important?"

"No." _Lies, so many lies. _"I'm kinda confused."

"Nothing? Nothing at all?"

He paused, pretended to think it over. "Nope."

The prescription was long gone, when they arrived home, he had disposed of it. It was irresponsible, and lying made him feel horrible, but he wouldn't willingly hand over that prescription.

She stared at him, frowning, pleading with him to give in when she couldn't possibly know what that could be. The disappointment in her eyes was burning into him and she turned and left his room with a quiet "Alright." She closed the door after her and he immediately felt the effects of stress mixed with racing thoughts of the unknown.

He could feel his throat close up, his heart as it dropped in his chest. Suddenly it was hard to breathe, suddenly his mind was swimming. He suspected this to be a panic attack of sorts, and he collapsed onto his bed, beginning to hyperventilate with his fingers tugging hard at his hair. He whimpered and closed his eyes, pulling his legs close as he hunched over his knees.

_Why did it have to be him?_

"What do you think yer doin'?" his father asked gruffly, penetrating the silence and causing Ventus to flinch violently. The cigarette dangling from his lips bounced with each word and the strong smell seeped into the room, clawing its way up the walls. "Lyin' to your mother like that."

It was late that night that his father confronted him.

"Dad—"

"Ventus Highwind, we raised you better than that. Pullin' all this shit, do you understand the stress yer puttin' her through?"

His throat seized up.

"We pay your fuckin' doctor visits, and God knows we're tryin' to help. And if the psychiatrist tells you to take the goddamn sleeping pills, you better take 'em. You've been puttin' us through hell for two years, it'd do us all some good."

The sting from his words was just too much, but then again he was always a bit too blunt. He didn't possess tact. Ventus didn't understand what direction his father was heading, but the delivery did not hurt any less. His father _did_ care for his wellbeing.

"I don't want to find you trying to off yourself again, you got that? Yer my only kid and I don't want to live to see you put into the ground."

His father pulled the bottle of medication out of his pocket, reading the label absentmindedly. "I'm gonna make sure you take these every night." Without warning he tossed the bottle over to his son, the small blond showing no hesitance as he caught it easily. There was the fear again, closing his throat and suffocating his brain. He didn't want to see any side effects through and he didn't want to fall into a perpetual dream. However, his father wouldn't have it as he said from the doorway, "Take the pill right now."

Nervousness, Ventus was too afraid to swallow down a seemingly harmless tablet.

With trepidation he opened the bottle, breaking the seal that should have been broken so long ago. He really had no choice now. He swallowed it down dry with the thought in his mind that maybe he could induce vomiting later. He grimaced as it went down, the remnants of the quick-dissolving medication overriding that thought completely. His father grunted from the doorway, leaving behind a cloud of smoke as he disappeared.

Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him, but he was already feeling drowsy. He shuffled to his bed, wearily sitting as he stared down the open door. He yawned, body hunching over. Maybe these were too strong. He lowered himself to the bed, fully clothed, fully incapable of doing a single thing about it.

The door slowly closed.

"What the fuck are you on." His eyes opened, his heavy lids drooping, begging to slide shut. The figure above him was grabbing at his shirt, lifting him off the bed. "Snap out of it." Roughly he was shaken.

Where was his fear?

"Wake up."

A bit rougher now, a little more frantic.

"You can't hurt me tonight, 'cause I'm not planning on dreaming." The strange look in the golden eyes went unnoticed, and he could hardly care.

He was out like a light and immediately enveloped in a peaceful darkness.

* * *

_End a/n: Sheee-it. It is currently 3 in the morning here and I am exhausted, but I am extremely proud of myself. _

_If you want to follow me on my tumblr and join in on occasional stupidity (since I'm not exactly on constantly), you can find me at itsclassybronotclassic. I do warn you, though, it mostly consists of Homestuck and my obsession with it (if you're a new fan to Homestuck I recommend against following me because whenever there's an update I liveblog the FUCK out of that). We could also populate the Lygo/Lygophobia tag but you don't have to if you don't want to._

_Oh, and five points to Gryffindor for the person that identifies what Ven is experiencing in his dream._


	7. a little announcement

_Hiya guys!_

_I really hope everyone is starting off 2014 with positivity and happiness. I feel a little guilty, since this isn't really much of an update. _

_I'd like to take the time to kind of explain myself (again, like always, I am very irresponsible). In October of 2013, my computer suffered a mysterious fall that I cannot blame on my tiny dogs and was rendered pretty much useless. The cost to fix it was well over $200, not including labor or parts. Since it had so many problems, it was decided it wasn't even worth it to try to fix it (since the problems were in the motherboard blah blah blah). Therefore, I am incredibly thankful and grateful to my family because they chipped and got me a new one. I transferred all of my files over so Lygophobia is safe and sound for another day haha. _

_Before my computer broke, I was revising all of the chapters in Lygo. I can't help but hate my old style, as well as cringe at the logic and wording in places. Everything was going fine and dandy, and I was planning on uploading everything in one go, but unfortunately it's now 2014 and too much time has passed, I have to say something._

_What was once considered the Big Rewrite of 2k13 is now 2k13/14 haha. Anyway, I'm revising each chapter a lot. In fact, it's more of a rewrite if anything. There is a lot changing, like major plot stuff and interactions between characters. Since I never had a direction with Lygo before (note: past tense wink wonk), I sort of threw all this stuff together. However, now that I do have a solid idea of what I want to happen, I'm going to change a LOT. Sorry if you like this current version, because it's literally going to change a lot okay._

_Sorry it's taking so long. I can't write chapter 7 until I've finished revising since the plot is going to be affected a little. Soooooo this little author note is telling you that I'm rewriting everything, which will mean that it may take some time for chapter 7 to come. _

_I will delete this note thing right before I upload the next chapter, so it won't disrupt the flow of the story and you will all be notified! Once chapter 7 is up, so will all the rewritten chapters, so make sure to read them too!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_Feel free to message me on here on on my tumblr: nightmarevanitas!_

_-emeraldterror (Arianna)_


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